Party Jokes

Sally

Anonymous

Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?

Teacher: 502.

Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

Teacher:No you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!

Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.

Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door

Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.

Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion?

Student: No!The giraffe because He's in a fridge.

Teacher: WOW!

Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?

Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?

Student:The gators are at the party.

Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?

Teacher:She drowned?!

Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

Dwarf

Anonymous

What do u call a dwarf suicide bomber? A party popper

0

Puns

Bob

A boy went to a costume party with a girl on his back. Someone asked his what he was suppose to be. He answered," A turtle." 'Then why do you have a girl on your back?" the guy asked again. The boy answered, " it's Michelle."

Light

Anonymous

How do you throw a surprise party at a hospital?

Bring a strobe light into the epilepsy ward.

8

Depression

Anonymous

How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.

3

Jesus

Anonymous

did jesus die a virgin no he got nailed before he died

Roast

Anonymous😅🤣😂

Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party? He was roasted.

Sister

I called my sister a party pooper after she came to my party uninvited Grampa said that the only ones who poop at parties are the ones who don't get invited So I guess that means I was the party pooper at my own birthday?

Sadness

Kitten

Today we had the best adventure ever! We started playing in the yard and doing ramps in a party van! It all started when Timmy and I were playing in the yard and a white rusty van drove up to our yard. A nice man told us to get in. We said we would love to go but our mommies wouldn't want us to go. The man said your mommies told me it was OK to come. We hopped in the back and sped away super fast! The man gave us some candy, but Timmy and I were not hungry, so we didn't eat it. We saved it for later. After a while, I was wondering where we were going. I was about to ask the man, but then there was a whooping sound and some flashing blue lights! ¨Hey they want to party with us!¨Timmy yelled over the whooping. ¨Party van!¨I yelled. Timmy and I started dancing and whooping and the van began driving faster, doing crazy race car stunts, and jumps! Then we noticed the lights and whooping were coming from some cars that were following us. The cars were black and white and said ¨P O L I C E” on the side. We started to wave to them, but then the van did a HUGE jump and we flew out of the back of the van to the side of the road into some dirt, but it didn't really hurt that much. The van drove off without us, and I was really sad. Then Timmy told me the dirt was perfect for making mud pies. I was happy again. We played in the dirt awhile, until some people dressed like firefighters found us and brought us home. And then you asked me what happened.¨Isn’t that right mommy?¨

Straight

random person

Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.

After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes.

The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it:

"Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please."

His friends laugh on the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep.

After a good night's rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went.

The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn.

The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared.

The receptionist responds:

"Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke."

Party

Anonymous

How did Caillou quit his party?

He had to Cancer it.

Death

I am Major

My favorite toast for parties:

May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.

Puns

Anonymous

A man with a mullet walks into a bar The bartender says "The party's in the back"

Sally

Anonymous

Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it? The grim reaper

Boyfriend

Anonymous

One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk and he says "I went to a party with my girlfriend and this random guy walks up to us and says can I borrow your girlfriend for a 30 minutes I say yes and he takes her up stairs. It was not only 30 minutes but a hour. When she came back down she was out of breath so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation.this happens about 3 more times that night. But as I was saying only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys 😊😇

Skeleton

Sans

Sans: why didn't the skeleton not go to the party? Papyrus: because they looked like me? Sans:... Sure

5

Exception

Morbid

There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his brother where he was. His reply was, "Oh, he wanted to be our dad for Halloween."

Emo

Anonymous

when you forget the pinata at the birthday party. kids: Aww man. but the emo kid just hung himself. kids:Yaaaaayyy. Parents: Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way

Orphan

otomom

There’s going to be a wild party at the orphanage tonight. The parents aren’t home.

Cake

i had a cake for my gender reveal party, i cut it and the inside was yellow....