Science jokes
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
He couldn’t climb the stairway.
Stephen Hawking only went to hell because he couldn't get up the stairway to heaven.
What’s one thing smarter than Stephen Hawking? His computer.
What’s the best math equation to eat?
Cosine Law.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
His Windows update wasn't available.
Memes
It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)
How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost Wi-Fi.
I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."
What do you call a man with 6.022 x 10^23 dollars?
A Moleionaire.
What happens when you throw water on Stephen Hawking?
He says, "Oh fuck fuck fuck!"
Chemistry joke: Why did the Superman being normal people when a krypton was at him?
Because krypton is "stable."
Which mineral is so impolite?
IRONic.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheeles.
If Stephen Hawking is ill, does he go to the doctors or Currys PC World?
Stephen Hawking drove too far from the wall and unplugged.
He also forgot to pay the power bill.
If you replaced the boss in Portal with a boy, you would hear Stephen Hawking.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a drink?"
The bartender responds, "For you, no charge."
He's dead.
Why did the glacier send the iceberg to college?
Because, in order for ice to exist, it must retain a temperature of less than... ZERO DEGREES at the atomic level!
Uranus spins on its side.
I wish Stephen Hawking could've just walked—oh wait, never mind.