Poker jokes
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite poker hand?
Jacks and 5.
Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.
A pedophile is playing poker with 8 seven-year-olds.
The pedophile has a pair of 7's and three 4's in the river. He smiles and says, "Yay, I got me a full house!"
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They don’t know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter ‘f’ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphan’s least favorite song? We Are Family.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? Meet the Parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite type of music? House.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What’s an orphan’s favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Foster’s.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because it’s the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away? Me: Your parents.
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
Why did the cheetah get kicked out of poker?
'Cause he was a cheetah.
Why doesn't anyone play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don’t know what a full house looks like.
What did the panther say at the poker party?
I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.
What did the adopted poker player say?
"Will you raise me?"
This one is for Gwen, I'm sorry people are so mean to you.
All the big cats gathered for a game of poker. Why did the tiger lose?
Because one of his opponents kept on lion. Another had a puma-nent poker face. But the real problem was the cheetah.
Why can’t orphans play poker? Because they don’t know what a full house is.
I got kicked outta the poker game.
They said I was a little cheetah.
How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
Why does the Queen play poker on the toilet?
Because she always gets a Royal flush!
Why are orphans so bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.