It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner. “What are my choices?” he asked.

“Yes or No,” she replied.

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, “for the France!” And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “long live the queen!” And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS”

If we can’t see air can fish see water?

Me: (pointing up in the air) "EVERYBODY LISTEN UP THIS IS A ROBBERY" Girl: "dude, this is a library" Me: “oh” (screwing on a silencer)

Why do they have air conditioning in hospitals? To keep all the vegetables fresh.

Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon because she will let it go

my friend; yo stupid me; is that right and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you einstien My friend; rolls eyes and says whatever me; keep on rolling them you might find your brain in there

A women walkes into a supermarket and sees a blined man swing a dog around in the air so the women walkes up to him and asked “what what are you doing” the man says " just having a look round"

Brojobs is like air It’s not important until you don’t have any

Why Couldn’t The Astronaut Put The Helmet On His Head?

Because He Didn’t Have Enough Space

So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. My first time in the air, my instructor informed me but he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don’t succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane, and his buddy says "well did you jump?"the guy says yeah, a little at first.

you

The greatest Doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack, and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,

“People need me for my excellent medicine!” and jumps out. The smart man grab one and shouts,

“People are in need of my great knowledge!” and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,

“You are to young. Take the final parachute and go.” The geek instead says,

“No, there are two parachutes left, the ‘smart’ one took my backpack.”

Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, “okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want.” Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, “I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire.” Allyn said “what?” As he looked over at Jim.

Q. Why is Stephen Hawing so good at air guitar A. Because he has excellent string theory

There was an air crash of a Boeing 737 - 800 which can carry around 300 passengers…

It crashed in a cemetery

They recovered 500 bodies

women’s rights.

Have you heard about the smart traveler? He’s clearly going places.

Whats the difference between an air blower and Little Boy?

When the air blower blew it did not wipe out Hiroshima.

Me: opens the window to get some fresh air Everyone else on the plane:😟…😱