Air Jokes

kangaroo

It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner. “What are my choices?” he asked.

“Yes or No,” she replied.

TeeSav13

Why Couldn’t The Astronaut Put The Helmet On His Head?

Because He Didn’t Have Enough Space

Anonymous
in Roast

my friend; yo stupid me; is that right and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you einstien My friend; rolls eyes and says whatever me; keep on rolling them you might find your brain in there

paris

Why do they have air conditioning in hospitals? To keep all the vegetables fresh.

4
Anonymous

What is the dofference between mcdonalds and 911

Mcdonalds has a drive through Twin towers has a fly through

4
Anonymous
in Adult

Brojobs is like air It’s not important until you don’t have any

Cyber

What did the twin towers mom say when she fed them, open wide honey here comes the air plane

2
Anonymous
in Puns

If we can’t see air can fish see water?

4
Anonymous

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, “for the France!” And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “long live the queen!” And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS”

Hope this is funny

So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. My first time in the air, my instructor informed me but he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don’t succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane, and his buddy says "well did you jump?"the guy says yeah, a little at first.

Anonymous

women’s rights.

7
Anonymous

you

Tasteful Dark-Humor

The greatest Doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack, and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,

“People need me for my excellent medicine!” and jumps out. The smart man grab one and shouts,

“People are in need of my great knowledge!” and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,

“You are to young. Take the final parachute and go.” The geek instead says,

“No, there are two parachutes left, the ‘smart’ one took my backpack.”

Anonymous
in Funny

Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon Because she will let it go

Anonymous

What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud

Wildcat8760

Me: (pointing up in the air) "EVERYBODY LISTEN UP THIS IS A ROBBERY" Girl: "dude, this is a library" Me: “oh” (screwing on a silencer)

1
Zuchuri

Hey watch me eat this African sandwich. Takes huge bite of air.

1
Anonymous

My friends were really annoying me at my birthday party, so I decided to pop a balloon to spook them.

Maybe going on a hot air balloon ride wasn’t the best idea

Anonymous

Q. Why is Stephen Hawing so good at air guitar A. Because he has excellent string theory

Addison Banks age (8). "Gina Claw Scare"
in Funny

Myrtle Beach has a clear blue sky and sunny, a pleasant air to visit as a family. Don’t you think they are not evil creatures and do you think they have them? “No, there are no gost or evil creatures.” You can say that, but don’t be surprised when Gina Claw Scare comes for you, aka GCS for short. Gina Claw Scare was born in North Carolina in August 1991. She died in 2000. No, that’s not real. WRONG. Gina’s real name was Gina Clawien Scaren. Yes, that’s why her name is Gina Claw Scare. Why did she die? I know right? She died from a curse from her bad companions. We never knew their names. The curse sent her down a dark path, demons and hate comments from people on istagram, facebook and the worst jokes on the site.

Gina Claw Scare loved fire. Which means she was a pyromaniac. She would rise from the grave in which she was buried. Did what? Stop, for real this time! They buried her on a loan in the forest. That caught fire. “HARSH MAN!” I know right? She rises from that grave, she comes for the people who call her by name four times. Then she beat the drums and set your house on fire! A fire so harmful that you can feel hurt, friends. You can hear everyone’s screaming. And then become like her. Never say her name. NEVER