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A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an exposition to the Amazon Forest. After a while they get lost. So as they are walking suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says "Hey, your in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy so we will let you choose how you die." The man from France said, "bring me the poison." The man from Britain said, "bring me the gun" And the man from New York said, "bring me a fork" The guy was confused with the fork but still brought it the items and gave it to them. The guy from France said, “for the France!” And drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “long live the queen!” And shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU F...ERS”

If we can’t see air can fish see water?

Jim and Allyn are 2 mates in the Air Force. They were paired up for a training exersice. They got up into the air and Jim said, “okay Allyn, your helmet can control the missile when launched from the jet. Go ahead and test fire a missile and aim it at anything you want.” Allyn fired the missile and had his eyes set on an abandoned building. Jim then said, “I also forgot, watch out for friendly fire.” Allyn said “what?” As he looked over at Jim.

Why do they have air conditioning in hospitals? To keep all the vegetables fresh.

Man says “im flying” realizes he was pushed out of a plane.

It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner. “What are my choices?” he asked.

“Yes or No,” she replied.

what did the airplane say to the paper plane, why do you look like a wimp

Me: (pointing up in the air) "EVERYBODY LISTEN UP THIS IS A ROBBERY" Girl: "dude, this is a library" Me: “oh” (screwing on a silencer)

There was an air crash of a Boeing 737 - 800 which can carry around 300 passengers…

It crashed in a cemetery

They recovered 500 bodies

Q: What do Mexicans love to wear in the air force? A: Air Force Juans

The American salute start’s with your hand being facing flat towards the ground on your head. The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American Salute. The French salute starts your hands in the air. The Saudi salute starts with you being bent over with a camel tongue in your ass.

A women walkes into a supermarket and sees a blined man swing a dog around in the air so the women walkes up to him and asked “what what are you doing” the man says " just having a look round"

Q. Why is Stephen Hawing so good at air guitar A. Because he has excellent string theory

What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud

What is the dofference between mcdonalds and 911

Mcdonalds has a drive through Twin towers has a fly through

So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. My first time in the air, my instructor informed me but he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don’t succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane, and his buddy says "well did you jump?"the guy says yeah, a little at first.

You’re so lame you don’t have a superpower! Yah I do! Oh yeah what is it? My diaphragm contracts and moves downwards into my chest cavity and my lungs expand! That’s breathing Jim. NO IT’S NOT ,JACOB, YOU CAN’T PROVE IT!

Have you heard about the smart traveler? He’s clearly going places.

Why is there Air Conditioning at a Hospital?

To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.

yum

did you hear about the person who died? i would tell you about him but he died