Why Couldn't The Astronaut Put The Helmet On His Head?
Because He Didn't Have Enough Space
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. My first time in the air, my instructor informed me but he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane, and his buddy says "well did you jump?"the guy says yeah, a little at first.
Why do they have air conditioning in hospitals? To keep all the vegetables fresh.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon because she will let it go
The greatest Doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack, and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,
"People need me for my excellent medicine!" and jumps out. The smart man grab one and shouts,
"People are in need of my great knowledge!" and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,
"You are to young. Take the final parachute and go." The geek instead says,
"No, there are two parachutes left, the 'smart' one took my backpack."
What is the difference between McDonald's and 9/11?
McDonald's has a drive-through. Twin Towers has a fly-through.
Me: (pointing up in the air) "EVERYBODY LISTEN UP THIS IS A ROBBERY" Girl: "dude, this is a library" Me: "oh" (screwing on a silencer)
How is $ex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
People ALWAYS told me to open doors for elders. So I opened the plane door 5,000 feet up in the air for a grandma.
Who are the fastest readers in the world? The 9/11 terrorists went through like 78 stories in 7 seconds.