Science jokes
What do cells call their friends with? A cell phone.
Why did Stephen Hawking cross the street?
He didn’t; he never did.
What was Stephen Hawking's last message before he died: "Server shutting down."
Love is in the air...
Wrong! Nitrogen, Oxygen, and Carbon Dioxide are in the air!
I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.
Memes
There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, global warming starts.
Stand? Wait. No.
Stephen Hawking said there is no God.
2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.
The sun is already bright, stupid!
I forgot what lightning was. Then it struck me.
I carried a magnet, then people found me very attracting.
What do you get when you light Stephen Hawking on fire? A fried PC.
What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?
Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.
What step did the DNA not take in his math equation?
He forgot to adenine!
Did you hear about Fridgetair
Kelvinator?
Yo mama so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.
How do you embarrass a female archaeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.
If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”