Science jokes

What do you call frozen web?

A web-cicle.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, global warming starts.

Stand? Wait. No.

Stephen Hawking, more like Stephens not walking.

What do you get when you throw a pebble into the ocean?

A wet pebble.

I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.

There is a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking; at least one of them does something.

The DNA told the tailor that he couldn't find his genes.

What did the substrate say to the active site?

"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."

Love is in the air...

Wrong! Nitrogen, Oxygen, and Carbon Dioxide are in the air!

Stephen Hawking said there is no God.

2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.

What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day?

F5

His favorite drink was his dribble.

What do hospitals do when they receive donor organs? They organize them.

What did the water say to the water? "Water" you doing?

When Stephen Hawking falls, who does he call, the ambulance or the technician?

"BU" is the element of a surprise. Boo!

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. It was evolution.

I heard helium won the lottery. Turns out, he lied.

My science teacher asked me what is found inside cells.

I guess "blacks" wasn't the right answer.