Science jokes

I forgot what lightning was. Then it struck me.

What happened to Stephen Hawking after he reached Heaven?

Nothing yet. He is still struggling to get up the stairway to Heaven.

What step did the DNA not take in his math equation?

He forgot to adenine!

Did you hear about Fridgetair

Kelvinator?

Why can't dinosaurs talk?

'Cause they're dead.

I was with my friend atom the other day. He’s pretty tall . . . Compared to you.

What’s black and at the top of a stair case?

Stephen Hawking during a house fire.

What did Jupiter say to Uranus? Hey, I can see your Uranus from here!

Why can you never trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

So big that when you step, you break the whole galaxy.

Stephen Hawking said he wants other physicists to follow in his footsteps.

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.

It's a canariel disease, untweetable.

My science teacher was talking about natural selection.

At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.

If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."

What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?

Oops!

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. It was evolution.

Why don't you fight a dinosaur?

You'll get jurasskicked.

I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back.

A chemical store burned down, and the firefighter just stood there, but at the end, the store fire just went out by itself. But the store owner still got angry.

Store owner: Why didn't you take out the fire?

Firefighter: Yeah, but it went out by itself.

Store owner: But still, why?

Firefighter: Your chemical store sells H20.

Store owner: Oh, I get it now!

Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”