Science jokes
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?
"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"
At least he always has a shoulder to cry on.
What Stephen Hawking doesn't know about wheelchairs isn't worth knowing.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
R. I. P. Roll in Peace.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite movie? Cabbage Patch Kids.
Roberto: Judd, your DNA looks like the infinite symbol.
Judd: Roberto, your DNA looks like a pasta noodle.
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite food?
His left shoulder.
Your forehead is sooo big, NASA thought it was Mars!
Oh dear, I made a backwards ray. Let's test it. I made a backwards ray, let's test it oh.
Why has nobody been on Neptune? Because the wind is so big. And why the wind's so big? Because Neptune's yelling, "GETT OFFF MMY PPRROOPERRTY!!"
Uranus is sideways and leaking methane.
I took my girlfriend to the beach, and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale.
What did the people do to the deceased after tests?
They bari-um.
I think the pollen count is a difficult job. Especially if you have hay fever.
How do you throw a space party?
You plan-et! Hahahaha, get it?
Why do anions hate each other?
Because they can't handle the negativity!
What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?
Hard shoulder.
Stephen Hawking: like a cross between Nikola Tesla and... a Tesla.