Science jokes

Stephen Hawking, more like Stephens not walking.

What do you get when you throw a pebble into the ocean?

A wet pebble.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, global warming starts.

Stand? Wait. No.

What do cells call their friends with? A cell phone.

Why can't dinosaurs talk?

'Cause they're dead.

The DNA told the tailor he couldn't find his genes.

What did the substrate say to the active site?

"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."

Have you ever stepped into Steven Hawking's House?

Neither has he.

"BU" is the element of a surprise. Boo!

Stephen Hawking said there is no God.

2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite dance move? The worm.

So, Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Wait, he can't.

Where do you go when Steve Hawkins dies?

Microsoft.

One day, a chemistry teacher asked his student, whose name is Raj, "What is the chemical formula of water?"

The Raj replied, "HIJKLMNO."

The teacher asked, "What is this rubbish?"

The Raj replied, "Yesterday, you taught the chemical formula of water is H2O."

What step did the DNA not take in his math equation?

He forgot to adenine!

Did you hear about Fridgetair

Kelvinator?

Why don't you fight a dinosaur?

You'll get jurasskicked.

My science teacher was talking about natural selection.

At one point, she asked me to name the first person to theorize about it. I said, "Eric Harris." It was on his shirt.

If you don't get the joke, look up "Eric Harris natural selection."

I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back.