Headstone jokes
I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.
What does RIP stand for on Maddie's head stone?
Raped in Portugal!
GRAVEYARD SAVINGS:
While leafing through our local newspaper, I noticed this classified ad: “For sale: one used tombstone. Splendid opportunity for a family named Dingle.”
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?
R. I. P. Roll in Peace.
Will glass coffins be a success? -- Remains to be seen.
Tombstone engraving: "I TOLD you I was sick!"
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the Statue of Liberty? The statue stands for something.
A guy is due to meet his friends for drinks at a bar but arrives late. When he does eventually turn up his friends ask why he is late.
The guy says, "Well, you won't believe what just happened. I was walking my usual route via the rail tracks when suddenly I saw a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks. Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her."
The friends are cheering and one friend asks, "So... did you get any head?"
The guy replies, "No, I couldn't find it."
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.
Community talk
You will never be a real woman. You have no womb, you have no ovaries, you have no eggs. You are a homosexual man twisted by drugs and surgery into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection. All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind closed doors. Men are utterly repul… Read more