Appliance jokes
I named my refrigerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say, "O I C, U R MT."
When I found out that my toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked.
Why did ranch tell fridge to close the door?
He was dressing.
"Is your refiger running?"
"Is your refrigerator running? You better go catch it!"
What do you call a baby with red on it?
A baby in a microwave.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
What happens when you put a baby in a blender?
The baby is a cherry smoothie.
Why do brides wear white?
So they match the kitchen appliances.
Your mum is so cool, she looks like a fridge. Quote: Jude Porters.
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
What do you get when you put a baby in a blender?
A boner.
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
What do you call a redhead in a fridge?
I'm pretty sure her name was Kelly.
What do women and appliances have in common?
If they don't work, hit them until they work.
What do you call a baby in a blender? A baby blender!
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
I sold my vacuum the other day.
All I got was dust and my mom's wig.
What is red, white, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.