Appliance jokes

Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you ;)

I'm like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside.

What do you call it when a midget waves at you?

A microwave.

You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."

I started beating my washing machine because it wasn't working, my wife started crying.

What is red and tan and spins for about 50 mph?

A baby in a blender.

What's the difference between an asshole and a freezer?

The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

Where do you buy a dishwasher?

Hot singles in your area.

What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.

what do you call a baby in an oven?

my next meal.

Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you.

I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.

I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?

I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.

What's black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

Crispy, Juicy, Tender, I just put my new-born son in a blender.

What is red and cries and spins around and around?

- A baby in a microwave.

What should you do if the dishwasher breaks?

Kick her.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?

Hit your wife harder.

What's white and can't climb a tree?

A refrigerator.

What’s the best way to get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips.