Science jokes
Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up literally everything.
The water in the shower evaporates before it reaches you.
Stephen Hawking, more like ice cream!
Your hairline is like the universe. It's still waiting to be discovered.
I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.
I am proficient in many subjects including biology, sociology, scientology, and of course, idiotology. ☺️
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife leave him? She was sick of buying triple A batteries.
How did Stephen Hawking really die?
His wife grounded him from using electronics and unplugged everything!
I went up to my mom and asked how humanity started. She said it started with monkeys, so I went up to my dad and asked. My dad said it all started with Adam and Eve, so I told my dad that mom said humanity started with monkeys, and dad said mom was telling her side of the story. LOL🤣
Guys, there is no need to worry about anti-vaxxers. The more there are, the less there are.
Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged.
Symptoms of Schizophrenia
The symptoms of this condition are fairly easy to recognize because they stand out so distinctly from a person’s usual behavior. In order for a diagnosis to be made, the person must suffer from two more of the following for at least one month:
Delusions
Hallucinations
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He didn't pay his electricity bills.
Why was Stephen Hawking arrested? The police used computer GPS.
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
What's the definition of total chaos?
A bus load of retards passing a magnet factory.
When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked: "Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work?"
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?
His shoulder.
So big that when you step, you break the whole galaxy.