What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?
Hard shoulder.
Science Jokes
What did the people do to the deceased after tests?
They bari-um.
Stephen Hawking: like a cross between Nikola Tesla and... a Tesla.
Do you love water?
Then you love 75% of me.
Love is in the air...
Wrong! Nitrogen, Oxygen, and Carbon Dioxide are in the air!
How do you communicate to the dead?
Jump up and down on the ground and speak in Morse code!
Stephen Hawking was incredible at poker, he had no tell whatsoever.
I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back.
How do you embarrass a female archaeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.
If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
Yo mama so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.
Why can you never trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
What did Jupiter say to Uranus? Hey, I can see your Uranus from here!
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
Oops!
The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.
They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.
What went up but never came down?
Stephen Hawking's IQ.
Stephen Hawking said he wants other physicists to follow in his footsteps.
What is a pedophile's favorite planet?
Uranus.
Why did Stephen Hawking die so soon?
Because his misses bought the wrong batteries.
I traveled through time to get my dad back.
I failed because I was 1e21 years off.
