Science jokes

Yo mama so fat, when she jumps, NASA says a meteor hits Earth.

You're so fat that when you go on a walk with your friends, it looks like they are orbiting you.

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

What do / and \ have in common?

They have different results.

Yo mama so ugly, she the real reason all the dodos died.

What did the skeleton pull out from behind his ear?

Nothing. Skeletons don’t have ears.

I love Steven Hawking’s stand-up comedy!

What do you call a body without a nose?

Nobody knows.

Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?

"Don't push me."

Why is he called Stephen Hawking?

Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.

Wipe your feet before entering, but in Stephen Hawking's case, it is "Wipe your wheels."

I'll tell you a good joke. Stephen Hawking went for a walk.

What does it say on Stephen Hawking's headstone?

R. I. P. Roll in Peace.

Your forehead is sooo big, NASA thought it was Mars!

Oh dear, I made a backwards ray. Let's test it. I made a backwards ray, let's test it oh.

If Stephen Hawking was a boxer, he would roll with the punches.

Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?

At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.

What did Stephen Hawking say when he rode a bike?

"Hey look...no hands...or legs!"