Science jokes
I took my girlfriend to the beach, and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale.
Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?
'Cause he was in need of a light snack!
I think the pollen count is a difficult job. Especially if you have hay fever.
How do you throw a space party?
You plan-et! Hahahaha, get it?
Why do anions hate each other?
Because they can't handle the negativity!
Memes
What motorway lane does Stephen Hawking use?
Hard shoulder.
Stephen Hawking: like a cross between Nikola Tesla and... a Tesla.
Love is in the air...
Wrong! Nitrogen, Oxygen, and Carbon Dioxide are in the air!
Do you love water?
Then you love 75% of me.
Stephen Hawking was incredible at poker, he had no tell whatsoever.
What did the people do to the deceased after tests?
They bari-um.
Stephen Hawking said there is no God.
2018 God said there is no Stephen Hawking.
So, Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Wait, he can't.
Where do you go when Steve Hawkins dies?
Microsoft.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite dance move? The worm.
The DNA told the tailor that he couldn't find his genes.
The DNA told the tailor he couldn't find his genes.
What do you call frozen web?
A web-cicle.
What did the substrate say to the active site?
"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."
How do you communicate to the dead?
Jump up and down on the ground and speak in Morse code!