Barium jokes
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you cannot helium, you have to curium. If you cannot curium, you have to barium!
What do you do with a dead scientist?
You barium.
What did the people do to the deceased after tests?
They bari-um.
What is Ba + 2Na?
Ans. Banana.
What’s the similarity between peas from Tesco and emos?
They both have barcodes.
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?
So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
Q: Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them?
A: So when they come into port they can Scan-Da-Navy-In!
Kelly Clarkson and Ian Watkins of the Lostprophets both walk into a bar. The bartender asked, "Hitting on some 2-year-olds today?" It may have been an innocuous question, if it weren't for the fact that the bartender is Chris Hansen.