Say Jokes

How do you kill a retard?

Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"

Hillary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected into office.

Sorry, it was supposed to say "Female," but the "emale" got deleted.

What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"

What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?

"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."

They say Trump got impeached, but he is an orange.

boy

An animated character with a hat and glasses says, "I'm a pimp named Slickback. Say it with me, now."

What's something you can say in church and while having sex?

I come in the name of the Lord.

What does a Jew expecting guests say?

"Oy, vey, are they here yet?"

What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?

"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"

What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?

"Halloumi, who's the tastiest of them all?"

Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”

“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

Hi guys, I am Logan Taub the toad. I just want to say that my cock is so, so, so tiny. It could fit 50 times in the crack of my butt chin!!!!! Also, I am trans👍

I'm not saying I'm ugly...

But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.

An old man and a child are walking into the woods. Suddenly, they stop.

"Mister," the child says, "I'm scared, these woods are dark and creepy..."

The old man says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"