What did one orphan say to the other?
Quick, Robin! To the Batmobile!
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What did the tiger say to the bunny?
Nice to meat you!
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
"I wanna sock in the eye so bad!"
What do you say when the toilet is clogged?
Oh shit!
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
What did the pelican say when he finished shopping?
"Put it in my bill."
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
I got stuck in the dryer again. Brother, say less.
What do doctors say to patients who blow wind backwards?
DON'T PUT THE FART BEFORE THE FORCE!!
Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”
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What do a 14-year-old and the fetus inside her have in common?
They both say, "Ohh sh*t, my mom is going to kill me!"
My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."
What did John Cena say to Ray Charles?
Hey, man.
What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?
"Ain't you got no cents?"
Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."
What did the daddy bullet say to his son when he missed the bull and hit something brown and gross?
"That is bull crap!"
What did the teacher say to the fat Turkish kid that always ate in his class?
"You could do with Ramadan lasting all year, couldn't you?"
They say birds of a feather flock together, so I guess that’s why Kris and common sense haven’t met yet.
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
"What did the mom broom say to the baby broom? Go to sweep!"
