Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
Because the pond was to shallow
What does a glass of water ask a pond? Water you doing? What does the pond answer? Pondering life.
What did the pond brother say to his lake sister?
Oasis! (Oh hey sis!)
A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flying around about six inches above the water. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal."
There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal."
There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal."
There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal."
There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal."
Then it all happened.
The fly dropped six inches.
The fish came up and caught the fly.
The bear came out and caught the fish.
The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich.
The mouse went for the sandwich.
The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond.
The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a frog, one jumps in ponds the other leaps over the border. :)
What did the beaver say to his son? Dam son
Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"
What does a perverted frog say?
"Rubbit."
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs. He asks her why she is crying and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her then jogs away.
The next day he finds her crying again and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up...and throws her in the pond telling her, "You're fucked now!"
What do you call a 100-year-old frog? An old croak!
An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day.
After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your d*ck touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" The old man asks, "Son, can your d*ck touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Well, then u can't have a beer."
Another 20 minutes passes and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips.
The old man asks, "Son, can I have some of your chips?" The boy asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your d*ck touch your asshole?" The old man says, "It sure can." The boy says, "Well good, then go f*ck yourself, these are my chips."
Why do ducks have feathers? So they can cover their butt quacks
What is a fish’s 🐟 favorite game?
Salmon Says!
If chickens wake up when the Rooster crows, then when do ducks wake?
At the quack of dawn.
Yo mama’s so stupid she drowned in the pond because the sign said 'No Swimming'
WHAT DID THE DUCK SAY TO SAY TO THE POND? FUCK TRUMP
Where do duck poop out of? From their buttquack
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
What do frogs 🐸 eat?
French Flies!
I said to the fish I have dam
