Say jokes

What’s something you can say during a pregnancy test and during a sporting event?

"We’ve got a runner!"

Louis Armstrong and Tork Poettschke go for a walk.

One says to the other, "My wife always says that icke is no worse than the other men."

"How many men does your wife have?"

Say Fentanyl 3 times in the mirror and you'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.

What did Britney Spears’s left leg say to her right leg? Nothing they’ve never met

Bertold Brecht & Tork Poettschke visit the places of their youth together. One says to the other: "Here used to be the Phoenix Lake. Where did he go?" "That was probably a pirate ..."

Tork Poettschke says to Charles Bukowski: "You have beautiful teeth! Are they also available in white?"

Q: What did Britney say to Kevin when they were in bed?

A: "Hit me baby one more time."

I say we shouldn’t do any jokes about dogs cause dogs are the best, but cats suck.

What did the mom say to the twins?

"Go crash a plane!"

If someone says 67 one more time, I'll say 9/11 and swoop right under their feet like the Twin Towers.

I'm not saying you're annoying.

But if a yeast infection were a person, it would be you.

All right, I know one joke. Um, there's a mollusk, see? And he walks up to a sea...

Well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up.

Well, actually, the mollusk isn't moving, he's in one place.

And then the sea cucumber, well, they... I mixed up.

There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them were walking, so forget that...

There was this mollusk and he walks up to a sea cucumber. Normally they don't talk, sea cucumbers, but in a joke, everyone talks.

So just then, the sea cucumber looks over to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"

How do you make an idiot say how?

What did one orphan say to the other one?

"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."

President Chumples memorialised Charlie Kirk by saying, "He had a real shot at being president."

That's not a joke. The fat fuck actually said that after pan face got shot.

What did one sperm say to the other while swimming side by side?

One turns to the other and asks, "How much further to the fallopian tubes?"

The other says, "I’m not sure, we just passed the esophagus."

What did the orphan say to the blind kid?\n\n"Hey, we both can't see our parents!"

What did the 9/11 survivor say when he went back to his family? "You won't believe it! The Twin Towers became conjoined twins when it happened!"

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."

The little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "Well, while capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, the people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit."

A guy jumped out of the Twin Towers, saying, "I ordered pepperoni pizza, not a plane!"