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Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce. The divorce lawyer says to Mickey: “Mickey, you can’t divorce Minnie because she is crazy” to which Mickey responds: "I’m not divorcing her because she’s crazy, i’m divorcing her because she’s f**king Goofy.

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his Whopper.

Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?

Teacher: 502.

Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

Teacher:No you can’t fit an elephant in a fridge!!

Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.

Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door

Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.

Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion?

Student: No!The giraffe because He’s in a fridge.

Teacher: WOW!

Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?

Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?

Student:The gators are at the party.

Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?

Teacher:She drowned?!

Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left?

What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.

What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.

The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he’s stuck in the fridge.

Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.

Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

Why didn’t anyone react when the king farted? – It was a noble gas.

Knock Knock! Who’s there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!

The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi

If a king farts, is it a noble gas?

My mom is a chemistry teacher. Mom: you can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back Me: tell that to my FUKING CRUSH BTCH

Yo mama so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.

Who’s the roundest night at king arthurs round table?

Circumference

Why is Martin Luther King so bad at laundry?

He won’t separate the whites from the colors…

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? He forgot to wrap his wapper.

where do do dairy queen and burger king go after dinner? white castle

A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordan Ramsey’s F-king cooking show! Husband:STOP WATCHING THAT F-KING SHIT!!! YOU CAN’T COOK TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!!! WIFE: SO WHAT??! YOU WATCH P... DON’T YOU!!!

Who is king of the insects?

The Monarch.

You know what the yin and yang looked like before Martin King jr?There was none it was all white!

Q: What do American beer and canoes have in common? A: Fu@king close to water!

Where do the Borg eat fast food? – Borger King.

What did kings say when they were made king?

Allah ail (All hail) [insert name here]!