King Jokes

Russell8833

Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce. The divorce lawyer says to Mickey: “Mickey, you can’t divorce Minnie because she is crazy” to which Mickey responds: "I’m not divorcing her because she’s crazy, i’m divorcing her because she’s f**king Goofy.

Anonymous

Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?

Teacher: 502.

Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

Teacher:No you can’t fit an elephant in a fridge!!

Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.

Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

Teacher: open door,put giraffe in, close door

Student: no! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.

Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one? Teacher: let me guess the lion?

Student: No!The giraffe because He’s in a fridge.

Teacher: WOW!

Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?

Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?

Student:The gators are at the party.

Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?

Teacher:She drowned?!

Student: no! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

Anonymous
in Chemist

Why didn’t anyone react when the king farted? – It was a noble gas.

0

Student: a plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left? Teacher: 203 Student: how do you put an elephant in the fridge? Teacher: You can’t Student: yes you can, open fridge door put elephant in. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Teacher: open door put in giraffe? Student: no, take out elephant put in giraffe. The lion king is having a party, who isn’t there? Teacher: let me guess, the lion Student: no the giraffe, he’s stuck in a fridge. Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how? Teacher: she stepped on the alligators? Student: no the alligators are at the party, Sally dies anyway, how? Teacher: she frowned? Student: no, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.

Sally
in Sally

Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left?

What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.

What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.

The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he’s stuck in the fridge.

Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.

Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

9
Anonymous

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his Whopper.

8

What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?

Flatman and Ribbon

Anonymous
in Yo mama

Yo mama so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.

Anonymous

If Martin Luther King was white, what would they call him?

Alive

0
Reddit.com
in Reddit

Who is the king of Reddit? Sam Ryan

Anonymous

Q: how did burger king get diary queen pregnant A: he forgot to wrap his whopper

Anonymous

Q:What do burger King and michael Jackson have in common

A:they put meat on five year old buns

in Hairline

your hairline goes all the way back to when burger king was a burger prince

Magnus2341
in Puns

Knock Knock! Who’s there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!

Anonymous

when is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler

King of jokes

😥This is offensive sorry: What did the king say to his royal steed “You gonna start the dishwasher or what”?

3
Daniel King

What does a queen 👸 want on her cookie 🍪?

Royal Icing.

WANKA

A husband walks into his house to find his wife watching Gordan Ramsey’s F-king cooking show! Husband:STOP WATCHING THAT F-KING SHIT!!! YOU CAN’T COOK TO SAVE YOUR LIFE!!! WIFE: SO WHAT??! YOU WATCH PORN DON’T YOU!!!

2
Anonymous

Why is Martin Luther King so bad at laundry?

He won’t separate the whites from the colors…

Donald Trump
in Little Johnny

little Johnny is my son and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a burger king whopper to Moscow then take revenge for little Johnny!!!