King Jokes

In chess, why does the queen have more mobility than the king?

Because the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor

😥This is offensive sorry: What did the king say to his royal steed "You gonna start the dishwasher or what"?


Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce. The divorce lawyer says to Mickey: "Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie because she is crazy" to which Mickey responds: "I'm not divorcing her because she's crazy, i'm divorcing her because she's f**king Goofy.

A king ordered to executed a gay man. The gay man came and he said "please don't behead me have pitty". King replied " I will have pitty because I will implale you lets you enjoy your last moments".

If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.

You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet well then watch the lion king

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, He's only an egg."