Say jokes
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"
What do two priests say to each other when they walk into an orphanage?
"Let us pray."
What did John Cena say to Ray Charles?
Hey, man.
What does the right eye say to the left eye?
Between you and me, something smells!
What did the 3 say to the 8? Have fun!
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side.
My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."
What did the zoo say to the snow ❄️? Get lost!
What did the traffic light 🚦 say? Oh.
What did the Pokemon lover say when he got to the shoe store?
I have to Pikashoe.
What did Siri say when Stephen Hawking spoke to him... Sorry, I don't like Microsoft.
One dollar bill is with a five dollar bill. The five says, "I make more cents than you."
A man from Brooklyn is arguing with an Englishman. He says things like,
"It's an elevator, not a lift!"
and
"It's a bathroom! Not 'washroom'!"
He keeps going on until the Englishman says,
"Hey wanker, it's a school, not a god damned shooting range."
Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?
Bryce: What?
Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!
P.S. I'm a girl.
What did Connor Lys Clark say to Karl Kassulke? "I love bridges!"
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.
What did the tree say to the Lumberjack? Leaf me alone!
Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"