Say jokes
What’d the fox say when he was asked to describe his wife? “Hottie hottie hottie hoe!”
What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"
"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"
Son: Dad, can I get a girlfriend?
Dad: Son, no, you are only 10, so no.
Son: Dad, I'm leaving to get a girlfriend.
Dad: Son, nooo, you are not my son!
Son: What did you say? *Son slaps the dad.*
Dad: Good, son, goodbye, get out of my home.
Son: Good, you can go move to a new home.
I left Twitter for a while, and when I tried to log back in, I found out I was suspended. I realized it was a penalty for saying some prohibited words on Twitter.
Sadly, my idol Pristiano Penaldo took the penalty for me and he missed, and now I'm on my alt. Shame on you, Penaldo!
Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."
My proctologist used to be a photographer. He took x-rays and told me to bend over and say "cheese!"
I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."
Catholic men say eating broccoli is like anal sex.
If you’re forced to have it as a child, you probably won’t like it as an adult.
Vote Biden or Trump, I like neither, but I want to know what the world would say. (Don't judge other people.)
if you ask an artist how to commit suicide, they will say a very creative way
Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?
A: HeHe.
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
An optimist says, "The glass is half full."
A pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."
A scientist walks by and says, "You guys are both wrong. The glass is technically completely full because it is half filled with air."
Then Africa comes by and says, "Stop arguing. At least you guys have water!"
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
What did the steak say to the other steak?
When they say beat that pussy, I don’t play so punch it.
What did the orphan say when his mum asked, "What do you want for dinner?"
He replied, " "
Me: What did one toilet say to the other?
You: What?
Me: You look flushed!
What did Chris Brown say the first time he saw Rihanna?
I’d hit that.
Little Johnny walks in on his mom taking a shower and slips and falls under her, and he says, "What's that, Mama?" She says, "That's just an old bear." He says, "He's a mean bear." She says, "Why's that?" He says, "He's got blood in on eye and shit in the other."