Relationship jokes
I hope you remembered my name since you’ll be screaming it later.
What's one plus one?
Yo mama.
So, one day Kylin Banks was playing football. Then he saw Violet. After he saw her, he got bricked up. Then he ran after her and rubbed his pickle all over her. She was so happy.
Two sticks only make a fire.
"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"
My best friend said, "Can you put your dick in me?" I said, "Can I cum in you?"
What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”
Reply back with “Because you were born.”
Dad: Son, I came back.
Son: Where is the milk?
Dad: Time for another 10 years.
What do frogs wear for shoes? Open toad.
What does your mom say to you? "Love you, moody."
Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned cupped herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" and he came running in. "Bruce, I’ve bloody suctioned myself to the floor!" she said.
"S’truth, Sheila!" Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You’re stuck fast girl. I’ll go across the road and get me mate Cobber."
They came back and they both tried to pull her up from the floor. "No way, we can’t do it!" Cobber said, "So let’s try Plan B."
"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce, "What’s that?"
"I’ll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we’ll break the tiles under her," replied Cobber.
"Spot on!" Bruce said, "While you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and play with her nipples."
"Play with her nipples?" Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate!"
"No... " Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper."
Alright, my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time, and what I say is, "Go get you boyfriend, dude!"
I found a chest of gold in my garden the other day. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
Alright ALYA and drew ALYA's boyfriend!! Have a good fucking life, I hardly even think drew is real but uk whatever I've passed on but DREW if u fucking wanna beef, I'll fight u bro, ur prob a stick, I'm fucking doing push ups 4 times a week 100 each.
Why do orphans love tennis? It's the only love they get.
In tennis, 0 points is love.
I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.
Your mother.
Girls: Boys are like games, they're meant to get played.
Boys: Girls are like stones, the flat ones get skipped.
Why do orphan girls become prostitutes?
So they can call someone "daddy."
A nickname to call your short GF:
Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok