Playground jokes
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”
Little Johnny looked up and replied, “Well, Ms Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned!”
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
How come when women decide to kill their unborn baby it's a "choice"? But when I decide to drive my car into a playground full of children it's called "murder."
Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She was born without arms.
Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?
Kid: Sure.
Dad: Come on.
Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?
Dad: Go in.
My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents can't push them on the swing!
A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.
1, 2 look at your shoes.
3, 4 they look better than yours.
5, 6 you have no friends.
7, 8 you look like a ape.
9, 10 don't you like men?
11, 12 hell naw I like females.
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
Who’s more excited than a kid on his birthday?
Jimmy Savile in a primary school playground.
Why did the child cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop a broom? "Why?" 'Cause she had no arms.
Why did Sally go swimming? She didn't like not having arms.
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally, she hasn't come back yet.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.
Why did the orphan go to the playground?
To see if it could find its parents.
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
Balls.
You can always bully an orphan. Who are they gonna tell, their parents?
Went to school today, had to yell at my friend that he wasn't on the clock.
He continued to swing on the pole in front of children.