My friend: Ess, stop with the self-harm jokes it's not funny Me: C'mon it's not that deep
I bet my friend $5 that he would die drowning.
A depressing but satisfying victory.
I got suspended for asking an emo kid if he wants to hang out with me
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: Wanna hang out?
friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i've got a great spot! me: *grabs nuce and runs to my closet*
Fatty and skinny were in a bed. Fatty rolled over and skinny was dead.
Person A: cmon person B, just be happy, smile Person B: over my dead body Person B: *gets the noose*
Me:if the skinny person goes skinny dipping then what do fat people do?
my friend: Chunky dunks
Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me repeating a year. Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you? ----- Then there is me: My life.
19. It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire today. Now they call him Hot Wheels.
So I had a friend who was an orphan and he said, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, just reminding you." I then said, "Hey, how's your parents?" I never saw him after that.
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you”
Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what”
My friends used to poke me at weddings and say "You're next". So I started poking them at funerals and saying "You're next" to my friends.
Most states:
"It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends."
Alabama:
"She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."
My black friend told me to stop making racist jokes... ...I told him to lighten up.
when you frend ask why dont you smile then you look at them and then rels no one there becase you have no frinds #my life
why arent emos n trees friends? cus the tree leaves them hanging
What do you call it when a person with downsyndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned
WHEN YOU FEEL LONELY JUST WATCH A SCARY MOVIE.
YOU WONT FEEL LONELY ANYMORE:(
