Friendship jokes
If you had a friend like me, would you kill me?
Daveon is my blud, cuh.
Why does Struan smell so awful? Because he is friends with Jerp.
Freshfry, are you there? I really want to talk to you!
Love, Gwen.
My friend died. Me and my other bestie start singing the coffin song. My bestie in the coffin, why are you not sad? Why are you still alive?
"Gwen, are you still there?"
Gwen, just take Tj as your boyfriend. Gah, just do it so he won't kill himself! Prince will be fine without you!
My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.
This is an inside joke for my friend Caiden...
"Hey, where’d you get that paint from?" "Ha! Paint!"
Ali from Kazakhstan, he got small forehead, all his friends laugh. They say, "Ali, your forehead so tiny, you need magnifying glass to see!" But Ali, he not care, he proud of his unique look. When he wear hat, it look like top of mountain, so funny, everyone laugh with him. Ali know small forehead no problem, it make him special, like rare gem!
Bro, is your hairline and your forehead good friends because they go way back?
What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.
What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?
What do you call your retard friend?
A homie with an extra cromie.
A drunk guy is showing friends his new apartment.
The last stop is the bedroom, where a big brass gong sits next to the bed.
"What's that gong for?" the friend asks him.
"It's not a gong," the drunk replies. "It's a talking clock."
"How does it work?"
The guy picks up a hammer, gives the gong an ear-shattering pound, and steps back.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screams, "For God's sake, you asshole, it's 3:30 in the god damn morning!"
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
What's the difference between me and my best friends?
At least one of us has a house.
Your hair and your hairline must be best friends, 'cause they go waaaaay back!