My friend: "Ess, stop with the self-harm jokes it's not funny."
Me: "C'mon it's not that deep."
My friend: "Ess, stop with the self-harm jokes it's not funny."
Me: "C'mon it's not that deep."
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friendship group. I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
I got suspended for asking an emo kid if he wants to hang out with me.
Friend: Hey, wanna play hide and seek? Me: Sure, I've got a great spot! Me: *grabs knife and runs to my closet*
What's a similarity between your best friend and a tree?
They both fall over when you hit them with an axe.
Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.
Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill’s candy, but Jack had a shock with a mouth full of cock cause Jill’s real name was Randy.
With a tight cheeked fanny and shlong expandy, Jack’s face turned uncanny. Off he ranny to tell granny his best friend was a tranny.
What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?
When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.
Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.
Person B: Over my dead body.
Person B: *gets the noose*
Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying, Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died, and two weeks later, Bob woke up to Brad's voice. Brad said, "I've got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you're up to bat next."