Relationship jokes

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?

His wife died.

You: Knock knock. Other person: Who is there? You: Not your parents.

Jarod (😏): Man, Breya Smith is so hot! The things I would do!

Y’uree (😟): Yes, but... she moved, remember? Her father found a new “job”, so she is now leaving until the fall.

Jarod (😞): Ah yes! BECAUSE!!!

Y’uree (😯): I don’t know, bitch. Maybe she has other things to do, or we can give her a good gangbang before she leaves!

Jarod: (😒): No, I really want to fuck her by myself!

Jarod (🤔): Hmmmmmmm... mhmmmmmm... ummmmm... hmmmmmm... not a bad idea!

Jarod (🤨): Or not?

Y’uree (🙄): Shut up, man!

Jarod (😠): NO, I mean it! THAT GIRL HAS THE BEST ASS FOR ORAL SEX!

Y’uree (🙄😒): Bruh... listen... gangbang... sex... the same

Halyei (😊): Hello Y’uree and Jarod. How are you guys today?

Y’uree (😏): Well, sexy girls like you should be ass-fucked or fucked so hard that all you can do is talk or nothing at all?

Halyei (😘): Thank you, I suck dicks too!

Jarod (😒): Are you Breya???

Halyei (😕): No... do I like that flying bastard???

Jarod (😣): Ugh... no... baby, you’re free to go!

Halyei (😔): Sorry, I miss cursing and having sex with her too! (😟) Sorry for being an idiot. (😔) I really miss her. (🤔) Maybe you and I can give her a threesome??? (🙄) No, I’m not gay! ( ) WHY!!! (😌) Can you come to the please fuck me! It’s the fuckable girls contest and I want to win! (😨) Sorry!

Treat me like a joke, and I will leave you like it's funny.

I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂

My brothers kept annoying me.

I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.

It was an empty threat—right after I was done.

My son said that bully needs a pounding, then I say, "Yeah, right, that is what I said and did to your mother." My son opens his mouth and freezes. I guess he knew what I was talking about.

Kid: I don't want to go to the movies.

Mom: Shut your mouth and clean my room!

At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.

Quote for the day.

I looked this quote up, but it really is a good thing, just for starters.

"Sometimes you will never know the VALUE of a moment until it becomes a MEMORY."

Also, loving is so much more to give instead! Always remember to love!!! Best-Gwen :)

Why can’t orphans be gay?

They have nobody to call "daddy" 😔

What is old, cold, and alone?

An orphan's parents.

Hi, I did not text back to text her and dad, now I’m texting her. Now I’m.

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

More about Quinn: He loves Robin. He loves his tight ass. He licks up all his shit after Taco Bell.

Pickup line: Are you the internet? 'Cause I feel a connection.

I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"

My girl got mad at me last night for saying to my mom that she had a dildo ready at all times and is always hard, so my mom wanted to see. So I whipped out my penis and my mom said it’s bigger than your dad’s!

My ex is like AIDS! I can't get rid of him.

My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.