Relationship jokes
Yo mama so stupid that she farted on yo face for no reason.
More about Quinn: He loves Robin. He loves his tight ass. He licks up all his shit after Taco Bell.
I was happy to find I could get a passing grade in all my subjects if I had sex with my teacher, until I remembered I'm home schooled.
Why was my mate in "Mission: Impossible?" Because he couldn't find his dad.
Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?
Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.
I want coffee like my men.
Dark.
You mom.
Sam and Amya like anal sex with each other.
I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.
What did Ron put in his diary?
I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.
Why did the bee get married?
Because she found her honey.
What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.
Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.
Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.
I remember when I was at a funeral at the age of 6. I was with my grandma and asked, "Grandma, Grandma, why is that man in a box?"
And she says, "He's in a better place now." I look at her confused and ask, "What kind of box did he live in before?! How is this box better than the last one?! It's just a box!"
And to this day I am still not allowed to go to funerals.
My grandfather tells me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
Sister: (moaning) Go get Mom, she'd love this!
Me: But Billy's with her right now.
Billy: UGHHHH...MMMMM
Dad: Hurry up Billy, I want to see you for a moment.
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend?
A: Will you marrow me?
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You a dumb a** b*tch, We all know it's true.
Like if you wanna have sex.
What did the man say to the woman? "Make me a sandwich."