Relationship jokes
"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on my desk and do you all night."
I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!
Me be like: ;-;
It's not incest if you're adopted.
A wife asked her husband, "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied, "I like your sense of humor!"
I had a good time with friends!
When you turn 400 those nasty thoughts sometimes peer in, but if you're lucky, you can be cleansed by the machine spirit by simply visiting your local tech priest.
My newly wed wife is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.
Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.
When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,
and then you remember you’re French.
Wife: I’m pregnant.
Husband: Hi pregnant, I’m dad.
Wife: No, you’re not.
What do Boy Scouts and IG models have in common?
They both be fucking sugar daddies.
Roses are red, I have a confession:
A man kills best friend after 10hrs anal sex session.
What do nail polish and panties have in common?
Both come off with alcohol.
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
I feel wrong. What does this make us?
Still cousins.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy" 😔
What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
Like if you know an orphan.
What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?
There are twenty of them.
Evans so gay I mouth kissed him.
Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.