What's another name for an Incel? A feminist.
The couple next door made a porn film.
They don’t know it yet.
My mom told me yesterday that in this Valentine, we should take our love to new heights. So tomorrow I'm prepared to fuck her in "The Hot Seat" position.
My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.
What do orphans call a selfie?
A family photo.
So I was digging in the garden and I found some treasure. I was gonna tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging in the garden.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: They have no one to call "daddy."
What do you call a blind person on a date? A blind date.
Why do most orphans become prostitutes?...
'Cause they need to find someone to call DADDY.
If my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship, I would never be able to play on my phone.
Roses are red... Violets are blue... I feel like I'm gonna get raped next to you.
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
Me: Want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.
Friend: What's funny about that?
Me: Because the next day they disowned me.
I told my deaf mom to be nice to the neighbors. She didn't listen...
Gf: Hi.
Bf: Hi.
Gf: Did you eat yet?
Bf: Did you eat yet?
Gf: Are you copying me?
Bf: Are you coping me??
Gf: I love you.
Bf: Yeah, I ate already.
Gwen, if you're reading this, the link I sent is for you and your boyfriend to chat and stuff. No one shall bother you! Pinky pinky!
Btw, do you know how I am cause if do then I am related to Kenya and my name starts with T? Don't worry, just chat with your boyfriend.
My sister says, "Dad," and repeats it, and this is my dad: WOULD U STOP me? 😑
Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!
What's fat and wanks over his mom?
Guy Sheppard.
I'm still playing hide & seek with my dad.
