Relationship jokes

Yo mama so stupid that she farted on yo face for no reason.

Why was my mate in "Mission: Impossible?" Because he couldn't find his dad.

What's the difference between a screw and a hooker? You can't unscrew the hooker.

I want coffee like my men.

Dark.

You mom.

My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...

So I threw a carrot at her.

Why did the bee get married?

Because she found her honey.

What did Ron put in his diary?

I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.

I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.

My grandfather tells me I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend?

A: Will you marrow me?

Sister: (moaning) Go get Mom, she'd love this!

Me: But Billy's with her right now.

Billy: UGHHHH...MMMMM

Dad: Hurry up Billy, I want to see you for a moment.

What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?

Reload... chhchhhh.

What did the man say to the woman? "Make me a sandwich."

How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.

What's another name for an Incel? A feminist.

Do you know why orphans can't get married? Because they will never get their parents' blessing.

My friend told me to make more friends, so I joined a suicide cult.

I’ll be hanging with them for a while.

Before Jane, was Tarzan clapping gorilla cheeks?

Mom: Can I tell you a joke?

Kid: Sure.

Mom: Knock knock.

Kid: Who's there?

Mom: Not yo.

Kid: Not yo who?

Mom: Not yo father.

Kid: Not yo husband either.