Relationship jokes
JACK AND JILL 2.0
After Jill went down the hill to get a pill,
Jack was screaming till his voice went nil,
And Jill screamed "Chill!"
Here is a good joke: asking for consent before sex.
My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife died.
Why can't an orphan be gay?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Can i have a girlfriend?
My ex died today.
I also lost my job as a butcher.
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
Why are lesbians so bad at math? They can't multiply.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they won't find anybody to call "daddy."
Why do orphans want to be gay?
So they have someone to call "Daddy."
Me: A lot of things changed since I got my wife pregnant.
Friend: Like what?
Me: My name, my address, my phone number...
My mom said, "Take out the trash," but I couldn't find you.
Q: What does an orphan call a selfie of themself?
A: A family portrait.
Orphan: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
His wife changed the WiFi password.
What do girls and rocks have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.
What's the hardest thing to do?
Not kill your siblings. (Put the knives away ">:)")
Why can’t orphans have sex?
'Cause they have no one to call daddy!
Why do orphan girls become prostitutes?
So they can call someone "daddy."