Relationship jokes
Dad, I love you.
Son, I love you.
Call this for a gay old time! 0275535101
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I decided to take her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
So your wife has died, and now she is marginally better in bed than before.
If you really want to get her to wiggle, simply add maggots.
What do you call a man in love with an emo?
I really don't know.
Dad: Honey!
Mom: What?
Dad: All of the broken condoms are on the bed.
Mom: WHAT!?
Children: *staring*
What's the difference between you and your sister?
Your dad.
I went to take out the trash, could not find you, so I went back in. The next day I found you.
My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and his wheelchair?
At least his wheelchair can pull a woman.
When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time... and walk past.
What did the girl say Big Fella27 said, "I love Big Fella 27?"
"Same." HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH
I'm jealous of the people who never met you.
So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."
Where did the cows go to a date?
To the moo-vies!
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
Why was your mom so into me?
'Cause she was the man.
I didn't put my kids up for adoption.
My mom
Angelina Jolie was married to Brad Pitt...
Does that make her a "Brad Nailer", and him a "Jolie Jumper"?