Relationship jokes
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
What is happening? Which is better: being loved or being hated? State your answer.
So Kenny finally found his one true love.
But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.
Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!
Edna: Hey there big boy!
Big boy: You need to stop doing this.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!
Jack and Jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy.
Jack got a surprise and bloodshot eyes because Jill gave him a roofie.
Why didn't Michael Jackson have a girlfriend? He's afraid of women.
Mom: I apologize, Sam, for being so mean to you. <3
Sam: Thank you, Mother, for your apology.
Mom: jk
Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.
Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?
Son: Yes, why?
Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.
Qualification Check:
Single
Taken
Friended ✔
So, my girlfriend left me. I took her wheelchair, and she came back crawling.
If you got a crush and you are a 👧🏻 girl, let him lick 👅 your vagina.
Why did Zayn Malik get his girlfriend to convert to Islam? So she can declare GiGIHADid.
A wife asks her husband: Am I pretty or ugly?
The husband answers her: Pretty.
The wife responds: Thank yo-
The husband interrupts her: Pretty ugly!
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.
Why is that a joke?
Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.
Why is that a joke?
Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?
Why is that a joke?
She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.
No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?
What song does an orphan hate?
"We Are Family."
Why did the doctor turn the orphan down?
Because he is a family doctor.