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My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.

Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone

Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They’ve been making headlines.

There were three boys on the top of a slide. The first one went down yelling “gold!” and landed in a pot of gold. The second boy went down and shouted “pillows!” and landed in a heap of pillows. The final boy went down and shouted “weeeeeeeee!”

Most people smother babies with love. I smother them with pillows

Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow?

So it could have sweet dreams.

I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up my pillow was gone!

What did one pillow say to the other? Nothing meah they just sang a song about a rogue chicken whose feathers had been sacrificed to make them.