Relationship jokes
Your mom disrespected your dad when he saw your face.
Little off topic but...
Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.
Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.
Mum: Fair point.
Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.
There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.
Orphan: Can I come over?
Girl: Yeah, but you have to bring your parents.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To slide into your mom's bed.
“In yo mama.”
My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!
My wife is so fat, I took her to the Macy's Day parade. They attached ropes to her.
Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.
Your mama is so stupid.
Your dad said, "You're driving me crazy," so your mom handed him the keys and said, "You can drive."
Say, "Moommy."
One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...
My friend tried high-fiving me; I left him hanging.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I need your peach, and I'll torture you with a speech.
So, one day Kylin Banks was playing football. Then he saw Violet. After he saw her, he got bricked up. Then he ran after her and rubbed his pickle all over her. She was so happy.
Friend: Hi.
Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?
Friend: Me?
Me: Damn, no, not you.
Friend: Then who?
Me: The orphan kid.
I guess we're the same.
When you see your mom.
Me: bruh
Her: Are you serious right now bro?
Me: Yeah no shit.
Her: *slaps me*
You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!
Mom: Do I look fat in my dress?
Child: Nah... you look fat in every dress!