Relationship jokes

What did the gay necrophiliac say when his relationship ended?

"That rotten asshole split on me again!"

What do the Twin Towers and my ex have in common?

They both fell on my dad.

I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."

Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.

Tell rumors about me, but please don't say I'm in a love relationship.

The way ladies cheat nowadays is very alarming.

She might give birth to twins, but each twin having a different father. 😭

I hate family reunions. I see too many of my exes there.

When do you know your dad knows you are sneaking out? He hears the loud creaks.

Two people stood in one room. The first guy stared at the second.

First guy: “Sorry I had to punch you. It was a game, bro.”

Second guy: “Between me and you talking, there’s almost no PUNCH line. Hah!”

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

It’s almost take her to Spirit Halloween, and then rail her in a spooky mask season.

What’s the best thing about a blowjob?

The silence.

What is the difference between you and an orphan?

Orphans have zero family.

My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.

Me: You have pretty eyes.

Her: Thank you.

Me: I can make them roll back 😈🥴

Want to do a titcock dance with me?

I love Mekhi!

Just ask your dad.

My mom loves balls.

But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.

Friends, gather here.

Samantha, Josephine, Stevie, Jess, Alice, and Alex.