I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
Listen up, buttercup. The dude's mom is shorter than him and threatens to off herself with a bomb vest full of bricks just to squish him. Then, when she can't even hug him because he's too tall, he suggests she uses a stool. It's funny because it's a dark, messed-up family situation. You probably wouldn't understand it because you're too busy using your brain to keep your ears from touching.
