Relationship jokes
What did Vegeta say to Bulma?
What?
Can I show you my new move? It's called BIG BANG ATTACKKKK! :)
When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.
Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
Everyone makes mistakes. Like my mom, she made a mistake 13 years ago.
Person: What's your perfect date look like?
Me: Oh, just hanging around in a tree.
Memes
Hollow Knight Meme
My mom said, "Hey, come over here."
I responded, "Too late, Mom!"
Global warming will kill every single person on this planet.
It's a good thing I'm married.
Guy: Are you tired?
His “Crush”: No.
Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?
His “Crush”: That’s sweet.
Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.
What did the cupcake tell its frosting?
I’d be muffin without you.
If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.
Hey, is anyone’s mom missing? Yeah, yours.
Last night I had sex and she said, "Stop talking about s***, OMG!" and I made her scream so loud she said, "Her balls hurt!"
Did your dad ever tell you he was going to get milk... But then never came back lol? 😅
My family is like a cactus. They're a bunch of pricks.
My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢
What's the best way to tell your friend you hate them? Option 1: Kill them. Option 2: Walk away. Option 3: Kill each other.
Me: Why can't I just kms and leave them the pain?
Bully: How is your girlfriend?
Me: I don't have one!
Bully: I know!
Me: How are your parents?
*Walks out of orphanage*
Dad: Are you gay?
Kid: Yes.
10 days later.
Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.
Dad: I thought you were gay?
Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.
Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.
A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"
What's the difference between you and your sister?
Your dad.