Relationship jokes

Gwen, can we please chat? 😊

I wanna date you.

Said mom, dad said no, you are a horrid, f*cking d*ck.

Hey, my man, why you got them damn old, stanky-looking Whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y'all twins, or boyfriend and girlfriend, 'cause if y'all are, go get married in Color Purple land.

It's gonna take a step stool to get a blow job.

What is your name in my phone?

I love your house. I have been in your art for.

The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.

They say that "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," but I find it a lot easier to go through the ribcage.

Sister.

I asked my friend, "Hey, did you get a haircut?" and she said, "No." Then I'm like, "Really? Then why are you bald today?"

9 months before I was born,

I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.

"Yo mama so... Wait... Whose mother am I speaking of?"

My father can take a joke because he made one.

What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?

Oh wait, I am because she's 10.

No one has my back like my dad.

What’s the difference between rap lovers and the Gigachad?

Rap lovers get more pussy.

Not a joke.

Any girls looking for a steamy hot man?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Through highs and lows, I'll be here for you.

Raju: How about you, Sunil?

Do you know?

Sanju: Sunil is my long distance

is a brother.

Raju: Long brother?

Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.

For my girlfriend and friends to chat :)

What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?

"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."