Relationship jokes
Homie: Let's meet.
Skrr: It's 🔥🌭
Meaning: It's hot [🔥] dawg [🌭]!
Mom!
I took my mother-in-law out today...
I love being a sniper.
Katgod, can you get your girlfriend? She's messing with me, and I'm gonna hurt soon.
Friends, gather here.
Samantha, Josephine, Stevie, Jess, Alice, and Alex.
What did the kid say to the orphan?
"Well, at least I have parents!"
My wife said to me, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"
I said, "Where the fuck did that come from?!"
So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
Why in Alabama people don't use doggy style... Cuz you don't turn your back to your family.
I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."
Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?
Jm: Excujjimi?
Jk: No offense, Jim.
Jm: Yah, call me hyung!
Jk: But I'm bigger.
Jm: I'm older!
Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.
Jm:......
Build your ex a fire, and they're warm for a day.
Set your ex on fire and hide the smile/evidence.
A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”
Peanuts are hard to crack, just like my ex-wife's heart.
I have a friend who doesn't have a dad.
He says: "You're useless, go to hell!"
Me: "Wait, why do you want me to join your dad?"
Person 1: Yassin has sex with a piece of sex.
Person 2: Nice, can I have some of your balls?
So my friend died. I was at her casket. I said I'll see you on the other side, so I went to the other side of the casket.
Why does Kermit like Miss Piggy covered in honey? Because he likes sweet and sour pork.
What’s the best thing about sex with 119 year olds? There are 100 of them.