Your hairline goes even further back than the last time your parents said "I love you."
Relationship Jokes
Yo mama so hot that even Sodapop Curtis flirts with her.
I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂
I told my emo girlfriend, "Do you like the lights?" Oh wait, she ain't got any.
Mate, my wife Susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift?
What is the difference between a carpet muncher and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
What's the difference between you and a calendar?
Calendars got dates.
Did you know your dad was a magician? He disappeared the second he saw your ugly ass face!
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
Yo mama is so ugly that Rick Astley gave her up.
Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.
Get the whip, you're out!
What hurts the most? 😹
A. Breaking up before chewing.
B. Breaking up after chewing.
You used to be someone’s sunshine, but sorry, the climate changed. 😂😂😂😂
Wife: “How do I look?” Husband: “With your eyes.”
You realize we are tolerating you, right?
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
Guy and Girl are in the shower talking to each other.
Guy: Let's drop the soap.
Girl: Let's do it!
I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend. It was a good movie, but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes throughout the whole movie.
Me: Hey! Look at my drawing of deez!
My babysitter: Very nice! But, uh, what’s deez?
Me: (¬‿¬)
