Relationship jokes
Me: Roasts my annoying cousin.
Everyone at the barbecue...
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I take out the trash, I remember you.
Hey.
Girl: Hey.
Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.
Girl: What?
It says "spray on flat surfaces."
Why did most orphans become prostitutes?
Because they wanted a daddy.
"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."
Memes
Why can orphans just be gay?
Cause they want to call somebody "daddy."
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
Yo mama so fat she got married by 20 men, but they think there's only one side of her! I tried making one of my own.
Little Johnny was learning about anal sex, when he learned what it was he said, "My uncle just calls this shhhhh..."
The bully says, "Your mom!" The girl says, "Is sleeping with your dad."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.
We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.
My friend dumped me, so I stole their wheelchair.
Have a guess who came crawling back?
Bro, my friend is always using zodiacs as an excuse.
The other day he said he couldn't hang out with me because of cancer. I told him to fuck off. Then I realized why he was mad after that...
Why does an orphan want to be a prostitute?
Because they want to call someone "daddy."
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
Cancer doesn't leave.
Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that Grandma's ashes were sugar?
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock because Jill’s real name was Randy.
What is an orphan’s favorite game? Adopt me.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."