Relationship jokes
Cameron and Pav.
- Hey, are you single?
- No, I'm album.
Wife: Honey, I love you.
Husband: I love you all.
Wife: Awww.......... Wait WHAT?!?!??!
So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"
The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"
Ur mom gay.
My friend broke his tie. That's a tie breaker.
What did the cell say when it was dividing?
"It's not you, it's me."
I like my women like my family, they’re related.
She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed!
Me and my brother talking about relationships.
Me: We live kind of differently.
Brother: We're sort of alike.
Me: We're not alike.
Brother, because he's taken: 'Cause you don't have a boyfriend!
My thoughts: You're right. 'Cause I have a girlfriend!
Your so broke your mom can't afford your daddy.
Your parents are so proud of you. They LOVE you! <3
Dishwasher rape is another word for marital obligations.
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cell phone.
Girlfriend's ex: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die.
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I take out the trash, I remember you.
Hey.
Girl: Hey.
Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.
Girl: What?
It says "spray on flat surfaces."
Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that Grandma's ashes were sugar?
Why does an orphan want to be a prostitute?
Because they want to call someone "daddy."
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Puerto Rican!"
Then the blonde replies, "OMG, you dirty little slut! How many is a Puerto Rican?"
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."