Relationship jokes
I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."
What is an orphan’s favorite game? Adopt me.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
Every woman will die in five seconds.
Mother: Dies.
Sister: Dies.
Girlfriend: Lives.
You: 🤬
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Memes
Time for a Terraria joke.
What is a worm called when it is with a rich worm for his money?
A gold digger.
(play the game or watch some vids to understand)
Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.
Girlfriend: No.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you want sex.
Boyfriend: No, I don't.
NEXT MINUTE
The man could hear banging.
I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.
Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.
Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?
Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.
Son: I hate you!
Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.
Roses are red, Tomatoes are redder. I think we both know, I like you better.
Blonde 1: Omg! Yesterday, I fucked a Brazilian!
Blonde 2: OMG YOU SLUT
Also Blonde 2: Wait, how much is a Brazilian?
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?
Words that have "ho" in them:
Thot
Whore
Asshole
Horrible
Horena (my ex gf)
Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)
My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.
So I threw an orange at her.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, We're breaking up because I never loved you.
My mom smashed my Xbox, so I smashed her daughter. 😏