Relationship jokes
My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"
I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."
She was amazed!
"Emmy and Thomas sitting in a tree."
I caught my girlfriend cheating on me, with our dad.
Guys, my sister's pregnant!
I'm finally a dad!
Like if you know an orphan.
What's the difference between me and my mate...
I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.
What's the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
What’s something you can say about vacation, but not about your girlfriend?
Next time I’m bringing all my friends.
Some girls are like rocks.
You skip the flat ones.
What did the woman say to the man?
"Stop."
What did the man do?
Keep going.
FUCK MEN IN THE ARSE
Why can't I get a girlfriend?
Because I'm a beta male simp.
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”
Wife: “ok... what is it?”
Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”
Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up.
My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢
I'm adopted :[
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
I had a good time with friends!
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wipe his ass.