Relationship jokes
So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Your mom who?
O shit, my mom's home! Honey, get the f*** out of my house!
Your mom gay, lol.
Yo momma's so gay, you sucked her balls.
Dark humor leave if sensitive: Wives are like grenades: pull the ring, and the house is gone.
when she says its her first time by u feel the presence of the past dihs inside her
These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.
What do you call a dick that doesn't fit in an asshole?
A misfit.
Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
A couple enters a Chinese restaurant and takes their seats.
The waiter asks, "想吃什么 (Xiang Chi Shen Ma)?"
The wife responds, "吃鸡巴 (Chi Ji Ba)!"
Oh, brother!
Family feud after finding out about Alabama.
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."
Why do a woman like to have sex with the lights off?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
Why can’t organs have a family bag of chips?
Because they have no family to share it with.
What actor do orphans hate?
Dom Terreto (family).
I'm ashamed to admit feeling proud of the rape joke I posted and what went on between me and your mum.
Random guy: Hi, how old are you?
Me: 15
The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.
Me: Do you know what else is a number?
The guy: What?
Me: 911
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
I caught my wife having s*x with another guy.
A hand is always sad when it sees a dick is going inside.