Relationship jokes
Why did Obama marry Michelle?
Because he's into chicks with dicks.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to fuck you.
Jack and Jill ran up the hill to pop some pills,
And Jill said, "Jack can do her without here will," and Jack's penis was still.
What does your girl do to me? She sucks me off.
I caught my mom licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that?" She replied, "I’m doing it for practice for who could suck the best dick contest in the neighborhood."
Molly Burke and her mom were on a walk. Molly walked into a bar; her mom laughed and walked under it.
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?
Why can’t organs have a family bag of chips?
Because they have no family to share it with.
Family feud after finding out about Alabama.
The top worst thing for an orphan, and probably the most awkward one, is when they're having sex and the other person is calling them "mommy" or "daddy."
Dark humor leave if sensitive: Wives are like grenades: pull the ring, and the house is gone.
Why do a woman like to have sex with the lights off?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
Yo momma's so gay, you sucked her balls.
My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.
I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.
Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
Random guy: Hi, how old are you?
Me: 15
The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.
Me: Do you know what else is a number?
The guy: What?
Me: 911
Time for a Terraria joke.
What is a worm called when it is with a rich worm for his money?
A gold digger.
(play the game or watch some vids to understand)
These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.
What do you call a dick that doesn't fit in an asshole?
A misfit.