Relationship jokes
What do you call your mom? Gay.
What actor do orphans hate?
Dom Terreto (family).
Why can’t organs have a family bag of chips?
Because they have no family to share it with.
I caught my wife having s*x with another guy.
A hand is always sad when it sees a dick is going inside.
I miss Gwen.
She said she was hungry. So I fucked her in the ass and gave her a chili dog.
Gutted rn... the girl I loved hard just got in a relationship. She liked me too so I missed the chance. Idk if she still does... man...
Jack and Jill went up a hill, each with a buck and a quarter.
Jill came down, and she had two-fifty! Oh, what a whore! (Andrew Dice Clay joke.)
Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.
What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.
What's the hardest part about sex with a Thai girl?
Her, probably.
Your mom gay, lol.
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"
I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.
Said the man angered to his wife:
"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?
My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Your mom who?
O shit, my mom's home! Honey, get the f*** out of my house!