Relationship jokes

Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.

She said she was hungry. So I fucked her in the ass and gave her a chili dog.

Gutted rn... the girl I loved hard just got in a relationship. She liked me too so I missed the chance. Idk if she still does... man...

Why can't orphans have sex?

Because they have no one to call "daddy."

Your mom said I was ugly. I told her she couldn’t see her belly button because she was so fat. She said, “I thought I was the only one without one!”

Your mom gay, lol.

What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.

What's the hardest part about sex with a Thai girl?

Her, probably.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to fuck you.

One day my ex-best friend lied about his computer dying when he left the call and watched YouTube.

My sister was hitting on my boyfriend. I'm 11, she's 9. She said, "Go f-ck yourself," so I said, "Okay, thanks for the idea!"

Friends are very important. I have lots of friends in very high places. I hope the police can talk them down!

Molly Burke and her mom were on a walk. Molly walked into a bar; her mom laughed and walked under it.

I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.

Said the man angered to his wife:

"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"

I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"

P = Person (not original "pun")

P1: Hey girl! P2: I got a bf! P1: Well, I got a Lamborghini Aventador, a Bugatti Super Sports, a yacht, and a private plane. P2: BF stand for breakfast. P2: Oh, and also, where did you get all that stuff? P1: GTA5 P2: You motherfucker!!!

(Communications with this person are now blocked)

Every time I come in the kitchen, my girl is in the kitchen in the damn refrigerator eating all the food, like the fried chicken, the mashed potatoes, the collard greens, mac and cheese, and the cornbread.

Then I said I wanna eat some of that shit. I love soul food. Then I told her, "You keep it up; your fat ass is going to be big like the house on Haunted Hill."

My nan's gayyyyyy.

Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick:

"I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's" 🤣