Relationship jokes
People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
Every woman will die in five seconds.
Mother: Dies.
Sister: Dies.
Girlfriend: Lives.
You: 🤬
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, touched Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."
But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a kid.
Why does an orphan want to be a prostitute?
Because they want to call someone "daddy."
I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."
Do you know why orphans can't get married?
Because they will never get their parents' blessing.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”
I’m not sure what she’s talking about. I opened the fridge door, and it’s working fine!
I would take out the trash, but my mom said you weren't ready!!! XD
When your gf tells you to treat her like a queen,
and then you remember you’re French.
The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.
Why did most orphans become prostitutes?
Because they wanted a daddy.
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
I love to have sex. And my name is Lex. Which one should I be with next? I really hate my ex. I just saw a huge T Rex, And I think you probably saw this text.
Welcome for the rhyme.
Kiss a girl on the forehead make her happy for a day.
If you give her anal you'll make her whole weak.
Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.
Girlfriend: No.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you want sex.
Boyfriend: No, I don't.
NEXT MINUTE
The man could hear banging.
I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.
Roses are red, Tomatoes are redder. I think we both know, I like you better.
I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.
Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?
Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.
Son: I hate you!