Relationship jokes
People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
Every woman will die in five seconds.
Mother: Dies.
Sister: Dies.
Girlfriend: Lives.
You: 🤬
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high, touched Jill's thigh, and said, "I know you wanna."
But silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a kid.
I hate it when couples get into a little fight and they change their Facebook status to "single." I have fights with my parents, but I don't change my Facebook status to "orphan."
Memes
Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.
Girlfriend: No.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you want sex.
Boyfriend: No, I don't.
NEXT MINUTE
The man could hear banging.
I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.
Roses are red, Tomatoes are redder. I think we both know, I like you better.
1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.
2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!
3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.
4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.
5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.
I love to have sex. And my name is Lex. Which one should I be with next? I really hate my ex. I just saw a huge T Rex, And I think you probably saw this text.
Welcome for the rhyme.
Kiss a girl on the forehead make her happy for a day.
If you give her anal you'll make her whole weak.
Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?
Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.
Son: I hate you!
Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.
Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, We're breaking up because I never loved you.
Words that have "ho" in them:
Thot
Whore
Asshole
Horrible
Horena (my ex gf)
Time for a Terraria joke.
What is a worm called when it is with a rich worm for his money?
A gold digger.
(play the game or watch some vids to understand)
My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.
So I threw an orange at her.
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?
- Hey, are you single?
- No, I'm album.