Relationship jokes

He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?

She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?

Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.

Me and my brother talking about relationships.

Me: We live kind of differently.

Brother: We're sort of alike.

Me: We're not alike.

Brother, because he's taken: 'Cause you don't have a boyfriend!

My thoughts: You're right. 'Cause I have a girlfriend!

Blonde 1: Omg! Yesterday, I fucked a Brazilian!

Blonde 2: OMG YOU SLUT

Also Blonde 2: Wait, how much is a Brazilian?

Wife: Honey, I love you.

Husband: I love you all.

Wife: Awww.......... Wait WHAT?!?!??!

What did the cell say when it was dividing?

"It's not you, it's me."

Words that have "ho" in them:

Thot

Whore

Asshole

Horrible

Horena (my ex gf)

Time for a Terraria joke.

What is a worm called when it is with a rich worm for his money?

A gold digger.

(play the game or watch some vids to understand)

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We're breaking up because I never loved you.

Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?

Person: Yea, why?

Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)

My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.

So I threw an orange at her.

Ur mom gay.

So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"

The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"

Why did Obama marry Michelle?

Because he's into chicks with dicks.

My friend broke his tie. That's a tie breaker.

I like my women like my family, they’re related.

She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed!

My mom smashed my Xbox, so I smashed her daughter. 😏

This isn’t much of a joke, but here's a pickup line. Are you a marshmallow? Because I wanna put my stick in you.

Mum: Why are roses red?

Child: Stop, Mum, you never make jokes.

Mum: I made you.