A masquito with a Mario hat on flys on you saying it's a me malario
“I’m thinking about killing off the main character in this book I’m writing.”
“What type of book is it?”
“An autobiography.”
Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce. The divorce lawyer says to Mickey: "Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie because she is crazy" to which Mickey responds: "I'm not divorcing her because she's crazy, i'm divorcing her because she's f**king Goofy.
Me: Mom, should I kill the main character in the book I'm writing to make things more interesting?
Mom: Sure, honey! What type of book are you writing?
Me: It's an autobiography.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and Derek Vinyard?
A shaved head, a chest tattoo, and a moustache.
if a toy from toy story died, the kid wouldn't know and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse
“what happened to ur arm?” “oh uh.. i became a gacha emo”
Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!
He's an Italian plumber Created by the Japanese Who speaks English And looks like a Mexican Jumps like a black man And grabs coins like a Jew
Instead of Edward scissor hands I’m Edwardscissor wrists
What do SpongeBob and Asian have in common?
They're both yellow and can't drive
'The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem" -Jack Sparrow
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...
so Trump can't tweet it.
Whats the similarities between spiderman and a homeless person
They both have no way home!
What's the difference between princess Dianna and Thomas the tank engine Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel
I made a 3D game about a depressed self-harming goth. It's mostly unskippable cutscenes.
so I and my friend were talking this time, I asked them what they would do if they ever met rengoku they said that they would probably like shake his hand or sm but I said I would lick his forehead. wtf
What is the difference between Bin Laden and Santa, one stops at the top of the skyscraper.
What is the difference between a orphan and pikachu? Pikachu I chose you!
What's a orphans favorite part in the wizard of oz?
When Dorothy says "there's no place like home".
My initials are K.M.C
Which could also stand for Kill Main Character.
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.
