Character Jokes

“I’m thinking about killing off the main character in this book I’m writing.”

“What type of book is it?”

“An autobiography.”

Mickey and Minnie are getting a divorce. The divorce lawyer says to Mickey: "Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie because she is crazy" to which Mickey responds: "I'm not divorcing her because she's crazy, i'm divorcing her because she's f**king Goofy.

Me: Mom, should I kill the main character in the book I'm writing to make things more interesting?

Mom: Sure, honey! What type of book are you writing?

Me: It's an autobiography.

if a toy from toy story died, the kid wouldn't know and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse


Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!

He's an Italian plumber Created by the Japanese Who speaks English And looks like a Mexican Jumps like a black man And grabs coins like a Jew

so I and my friend were talking this time, I asked them what they would do if they ever met rengoku they said that they would probably like shake his hand or sm but I said I would lick his forehead. wtf

warner brothers have made a new superman movie with superman being black. this new supermans nickname is the man of steel but its spelt s-t-e-a-l

My initials are K.M.C

Which could also stand for Kill Main Character.

Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.

I’m writing an autobiography.