Relationship jokes
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.
I keep trying to call my emo friend. They keep hanging up.
Your hairline and your eyebrows are like your parents, separated.
Why can’t orphans be married?
Because they won’t have their parents' blessings.
Memes
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. She came crawling back!
Mum finds out child cheats in math test.
Mom says, "There is no cheating in this house."
Child: "Then why did you cheat with my math teacher last night?"
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.
I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.
I found a lot of matches.
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.
Oh wait, I'm thinking of...
Yo mama is so fat your dad could never get away.
Me after I watch a brother and sister do it: "Me, sister, let's do it";-;
When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;
A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
Queen Elizabeth came back before your dad did.
If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?