Relationship jokes

Me after I watch a brother and sister do it: "Me, sister, let's do it";-;

When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;

A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"

“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.

I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”

Queen Elizabeth came back before your dad did.

If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?

Girl: I’m so in love with you!

Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.

Girl: What’s the ijk?

Boy: I’m just kidding.

What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?

Fill her closet with see-through clothes.

If two feminazis are carpet munchers, which one in the lesbian relationship cooks?

They both don't because both of the carpet munchers are too busy eating each other's pussy 😋 🤪 😌 😏 😜 👍 👍 👌 👌 👏 🏆 🥇 💭 🤔 😮 😁 😊 😃 😄 👌 😍 🥰 ☺️

You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.

Marry or don't marry, you will regret both!

Yo momma's so ugly, when she threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.

What are the similarities between a blind person and an orphan?

Neither can see their parents.

Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?

Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.

What is the difference between a broom and a mop?

It’s hard to beat my girlfriend when she’s holding the mop.

My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.

I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.

He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.

I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.

I guess you can say she had me in a trans.