Relationship jokes
The eyelash and the lipstick got into a fight. Soon they will make up.
I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
My uncle hid my weed, so I hid his wheelchair.
What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? They both cost a lot of money for the amount of time you’re inside them.
Memes
My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.
Do you work at Subway? Because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong.
It's not incest if you're adopted.
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.
My friends told me to stop making suicide jokes, so I hanged on.
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy.
But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.
My sister: You were born ugly.
Me: I'm not a mirror, sis.
My girlfriend said I was a ped0phi1e.
That's a big word for a 6 year old!
I was digging a hole in my garden, then I found a treasure chest. I was so happy. I went to tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging a hole.
Why did Michael Jackson divorce LMP? She didn't want to give him kids.
Your hairline bent like the relationship with your mom and dad.
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."