Relationship jokes
My dad is nice!
Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo? A selfie.
Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?
Bubbles:...
Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.
Alabama: 😈
What do orphans and fathers have in common? They both don't have families to go to.
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.
You twin towers because I'm tryna ram in you tonight.
My wife and children are leaving me over my obsession with horse racing.
And they're off!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not your dad.
It's sad when the person that gave you memories becomes a memory.
You know one of the worst feelings ever to exist?
When your parents and friends all still see the happy little kid you used to be...
...but in reality, that kid has been long gone for years. (not my words)
The daughter walks up to her father and asks him, "Dad, can I ask you something?"
The father says, "Of course, what's your question?"
The daughter replies and asks, "How do you feel about abortion?"
The father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?"
The daughter replies, "I don't have a sis-"
A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.
The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.
I went home one day and see a few married guys in line in my sister's room. I ask what's going on, my sister is running a contest. The contest is the married guys lick her pussy and guess what she had for breakfast. The winner gets a free blowjob. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder that she thought that she made up that contest.
I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......
Why are Black women dating white men?
So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.
What’s the difference between a woman and a mosquito?
A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricants.
Did you hear about the lesbians who are suing their contractor?
He used nails when they wanted tongue and groove.