Relationship jokes
Jack: Hey Josh!
Josh: What?
Jack: Sex!
Josh: Huh?
Jack: SEX!!
Josh: I don't get it.
Jack: Exactly ;)
Man, I don’t need Viagra when I see Mara!
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"Father replied, "I don't know, son. I'm still paying."
Knock knock, Who's there? Dad. You came back?
Jk: Jimin, why are you so small?
Jm: Excujjimi?
Jk: No offense, Jim.
Jm: Yah, call me hyung!
Jk: But I'm bigger.
Jm: I'm older!
Jk: I'm the top and you're the bottom, so I don't think it's right to call you hyung.
Jm:......
One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.
Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.
When I say, "Daddy," my stepbrother raises his head.
When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."
Not sure if domestic violence joke or penis size joke...
Said the man angered to his wife:
"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you never turn your back on family.
A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex.
The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."
The husband says, "OK, if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times."
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they got nobody to call "daddy."
When you meet your gf at the family reunion.
Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light up when she touched him.
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
Girlfriend: You remind me of a cellphone.
Ex-Boyfriend: How and why?
Girlfriend: Because you're about to die!
I like telling jokes about orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Kenny's favorite part of living in his mom's basement is sleeping with the landlady.
Him: What's the difference between Incestry.com and Ancestry.com?
Her: What?
Him: Nothing, either way you will be dating your cousin.