Relationship jokes
I was doin' your mom, yes yours!
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."
What’s something you might say at sea, but not at your partner?
Land ho!
Rhydon- son.
Rhydon? - mum.
RHYDON DEEZ NUTS! - son.
Jeez, ur like ur father in bed- mum.
XD
Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔
A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.
"Don't have sex" - Jake.
My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.
Have you ever tried sex when camping?
It's f***ing intense.
My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.
Children and your meat are actually quite similar.
At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.
If I fall in love with my depression, maybe it'll leave me too.
(Took this from my other account @Toby :) btw)
You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!
When you end up pregnant...
Mom told me if a boy touched my breast I should say "DON'T," and if he touched me down there I should say "STOP." But Dad, he touched me both places at once so I said, "DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP!" 😂
Guess what? If your mom ever wants to have sex with you, tell her to make another.
My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?
Denki: Hey, Mineta, I have a joke for you.
Mineta: Go on.
Denki: Uraraka's booty.
Mineta: I don't get it.
Denki: Exactly.
Mineta: ^cries T_T^
What's the best part about having sex with twenty-seven year olds?
There's twenty of them!
I'm 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend. I got heckled with "you're a paedophile!" and "you sick F...!" Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!