Relationship jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be a jaeger, will you be my kaiju?

I played Rock Paper Scissors with my friend Enyaw. I cba with jokes basically me and Enyaw always scissor.

What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?

They go to infinity and beyond.

That shirt's very becoming on you.

If I were on you, I’d be coming too.

What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?

Fill her closet with see-through clothes.

If two feminazis are carpet munchers, which one in the lesbian relationship cooks?

They both don't because both of the carpet munchers are too busy eating each other's pussy 😋 🤪 😌 😏 😜 👍 👍 👌 👌 👏 🏆 🥇 💭 🤔 😮 😁 😊 😃 😄 👌 😍 🥰 ☺️

"WASSUP GIRLS IF I FIND YOU I'LL GLADLY FUCK YOU;]"

I could never fall out of a boat because I've already fallen for you.

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.

Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."

I wish death was in the form of a woman.

That way, it would never come for me.

Girls are like blackjack.

I always want 21 but end up hitting on 14.

My first football game was a lot like my first time having sex.

I was bloody, sore, and but at least my dad came.

My wife and I have decided that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

My wife hates that I have no sense of direction.

So I packed up my stuff and went right.

Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.

I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.

I found a lot of matches.

Dr. Seuss dark jokes.

Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.

Oh wait, I'm thinking of...

A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...

"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"