Relationship jokes

You can say he is not your type until you realize your type is not typing.

What's the difference between a golf ball and a G-spot?

A man will actually look for the golf ball.

What’s the difference between a hooker and a cat?

I haven’t banged a hooker.

You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.

Why did the orphan become gay? Because he wanted to call someone "daddy."

When you know you have a gay friend, but you find out that they like you!

I played Rock Paper Scissors with my friend Enyaw. I cba with jokes basically me and Enyaw always scissor.

Can't be bothered with jokes, me and Syd Drake f**k 24/7.

Girl, you are so ugly that when you look in the mirror, it shatters, more than your relationship.

My dad is now a milkman.

Now I have over 50 brothers and sisters.

What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?

They go to infinity and beyond.

Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.

Birthday girl: Oh wow!

Parent: Anyone missing?

Birthday girl: Your parents.

My mom is bad and my dad is bad.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I have a traitor friend, and that is YOU.

What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.

I went to visit my childhood home. I asked the owners if I could come in for some nostalgic memories. They said no and slammed the door on me. My parents are so mean.

Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.

A guy and his girl just finished making love.

Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"

The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"

That one depressed friend.

Me calling the orphan kid from school: "Hello, are your parents home?"

The orphan kid: *starts sobbing* "STOP CALLING HERE!"