What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?
How did a man know his wife died?
Dishis start piling up.
What is the difference between interstate and intercourse?
What is the difference between a gay male who is not physically challenged giving a blowjob to a gay male that is not physically challenged, and a gay male who is physically challenged giving a blowjob to a gay male who is not physically challenged?
A gay male who is not physically challenged who receives a blowjob from a gay male who is physically challenged would still not believe that the physically challenged male is gay because the gay male who is not physically challenged is the definition of an asshole.
Girl: I’m so in love with you!
Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.
Girl: What’s the ijk?
Boy: I’m just kidding.
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
What happened when a kid bullied an orphan?
The orphan said, "I’m going to tell my mom!"
Bully: "I wanna see your mom!"
Narrator: At that moment, he knew he messed up.
This was my friend's joke he wanted me to post;)
The only reason gay people exist is because they couldn't get the opposite gender.
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
Me: Hey! Look at my drawing of deez!
My babysitter: Very nice! But, uh, what’s deez?
Me: (¬‿¬)
Jack is a ugly meany who’s not going to my birthday!
My girlfriend called me a "pedophile", and I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old."
I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend. It was a good movie, but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes throughout the whole movie.
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.
If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?
What's a lesbian's favorite weapon?
A finger-gun👉👌
If you got a crush and you are a 👧🏻 girl, let him lick 👅 your vagina.
Your sister: You're so ugly.
Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?
