I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.
And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...
AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
Blood may be thicker than water, but yo mama is thicker than anything!
What do your BF and the twin towers have in common?
They both never get erect
The daughter milked her dad. It turns out it wasn't milk...
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
Asking for a friend, could anyone please tell me how to politely ask a question for a friend?
What do orphans and fathers have in common? They both don't have families to go to.
Hey girl, are you a diamond pick?
'Cause I'm as hard as obsidian.
Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?
Bubbles:...
Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.
Alabama: 😈
Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.
My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realizes I've replaced the bed with a trampoline!
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian. I asked her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better.
Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?
He didn't wanna hang out.
I have fuck and sex with all the sexy naked ladies and they suck my balls (penis), but you ain't have no girlfriend. Your only friend, they call him ching chong coz of your hairline.
You're so hot!
You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"
Then I start to think I was the problem :(
Just kidding, fuck that asshole!
When you see your mom.
Me: bruh
Her: Are you serious right now bro?
Me: Yeah no shit.
Her: *slaps me*
You twin towers because I'm tryna ram in you tonight.
Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
