Relationship

Relationship jokes

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When my bro says "YOUR MOM" when I'm talking when I'm at school, and my friend says "YOUR MOM," me punches him;-;

Me after I watch a brother and sister do it: "Me, sister, let's do it";-;

My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.

Bully: Shut up, motherfucker!

Me: Well, stop talking to me and I won't have to keep fucking your mother.

My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.

I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.

I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid.

Oh wait, I'm thinking of...

Once my girlfriend asked me to give her lipstick, and I accidentally gave her the glue stick.

She won't talk to me anymore.

My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.

I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.

I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.

Guess who likes vegetables now?

A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."

Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.

I saw a kid crying, sitting on the sidewalk, and I asked him where his parents were. He then cried even more. God, I love working at the orphanage.

Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!

So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.