Relationship jokes
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
Me: Hey! Look at my drawing of deez!
My babysitter: Very nice! But, uh, what’s deez?
Me: (¬‿¬)
Jack is a ugly meany who’s not going to my birthday!
My girlfriend called me a "pedophile", and I said, "That's a big word for a 5-year-old."
I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend. It was a good movie, but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes throughout the whole movie.
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.
Your hairline goes further back than your mum's divorce.
If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?
What's a lesbian's favorite weapon?
A finger-gun👉👌
If you got a crush and you are a 👧🏻 girl, let him lick 👅 your vagina.
Your sister: You're so ugly.
Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?
She be hubba on my bubba till I gum.
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?
Guy and Girl are in the shower talking to each other.
Guy: Let's drop the soap.
Girl: Let's do it!
You used to be someone’s sunshine, but sorry, the climate changed. 😂😂😂😂
You want to get her pregnant before marriage to know if she's fertile, so why not marry a single mother that already has proof?
What hurts the most? 😹
A. Breaking up before chewing.
B. Breaking up after chewing.