Karma jokes

Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.

1. If being ugly was a crime, you would have a life sentence.

2. My phone battery lasts longer than your friendships.

3. There is a tree out there giving you oxygen, and you owe that tree an apology.

4. I don’t hate you, but I gotta unplug your life support to charge my phone.

5. When I saw your dad on the sidewalk, I didn’t laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

6. If I had powers, I would make you the dumbest person alive, but it seems life already beat me to the punch.

7. If karma ever comes to punch ya in the face, I wanna be there to help it.

8. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.

9. You are more disappointing than a cake without frosting.

10. Were you born on a highway, 'cause that’s where most accidents happen?

11. Wow, that hurts, now I know how it felt when your mom said that to ya.

12. You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo, and you may as well be the reason why the middle finger was invented.

So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."

Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."

And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."

I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜

My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.

Karma is like rape.

What goes around comes around, like a dead rape victim in a whirlpool.

"Karma is the guy on the Chiefs, Coming straight home to me."

Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.

God took away Stephen Hawking's privileges.

My boyfriend dumped me. Guess who came back crawling for his zimmer frame?

You're so lucky bullies don't have a chance to push you around anymore?

They'll get theirs when they're in a wheelchair?

One day I was eating a banana, and one my friend was eating in the balcony, so I threw my banana on his balcony. He stepped on it, so he got slipped, and one yogi was passing by me, so my friend's banana fell on his head, and he got a very nice shining half-eaten banana choti on his golden smooth head.

Have you heard of the restaurant Karma?

There is no menu because you only get what you deserve.

I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.

When you name yourself Twin Towers and Terrorist in Kahoot:

"Twin Towers" is on fire🔥

"Terrorist" is on a streak of 2.

What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.

If you leave your small children inside a shower with Kelly Clarkson, you're a filthy parent.

Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3