My sister is so ugly that she had to have a child with me to keep the family tree going.
So one time I was with my girlfriend, crazy, right? But we were doing a TikTok eye follow challenge, and she pulled up a pic of Gwen Stacy from Into the Spider-Verse, and I looked somewhere I shouldn’t have, and she smacked me, and I changed to the Rock, and you know where she looked? WTF, right in the no-no square, and since she was a girl, all I could do was sit back and watch.
What do you call a person with a flip flop?
My dad.
One night a guy asked his wife where she wanted to eat. She said, "Chinese food," so he flew her to China. The next night, he asked her what she wanted to eat. She said, "Indian food," so he flew her to India. The last night, he said, "What do you want to eat?" and she said she wanted nothing, so he flew her to Africa.
What's the difference between a joke and two dicks?
Women can't take a joke!
"Honey, let's not go so deep into the woods, please. I'm starting to get scared."
"It's easy for you to talk. I can go back alone right now!"
What happened to the woman who dated a rapist?
She was date raped.
How do you know if a rapist loves you?
He will rape you many times.
Your girlfriend/boyfriend says: "I'm dating your uncle..." You start crying and you look under the bed and your uncle says: "Damn."
What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?
One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.
When an African has a twin, your me??
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
Are you gay? Yeah, because I loved you.
Mate, my wife Susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift?
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
Yo papa's wife is so dumb and fat that we had to use yo papa.
Every time my cousin and I, we settle it out with our game, so we play rock paper scissors. 😂🤣🤣
I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂
Q: Why are lesbians bad at math?
A: Because they can't multiply.
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
