Reaction jokes
Mohamed Atta would probably be pretty mad at these posts.
What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 🙂💊💉
Men wake up with a boner.
Women wake up yawning.
Coincidence?
Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?
Hey amazing people! The Prankster is back! This prank was on my sister and her friends. (tbh I did not think she had friends.)
I set out some snacks for them! Btw (I can't be trusted).
I gathered some "slapies."
The things I gathered were tomatoes, onions, milk, carrots, ice cream, and some dried-out green beans! All that stuff!
I need the tomatoes to make a sauce because I am going to put that with the ice cream, mix that up with the milk, yea yea it might look like a gross and nasty dish...WRONG!!!! I am going to make it into a little snack...anyway we make that into a snack for her and her friends. The onions are used to make their eyes cry and burn but I will give them a towel after that. The dried-out green beans are just to make them go over the top and overreact because I did not cook them. After that, we make it like it's not so icky!
I feed it to them!
They overreacted!
Please leave a comment.
Bye!
Richard: Mom, someone called me gay.
Richard's mom: Why didn't you slap him across his face?
Richard: No, I couldn't.
Richard's mom: Why?
Richard: Because he was cute.
Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.
Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?
This homeless lady called me ugly, so I told her, "Okay, then I'm going home."
I know why nobody likes my comments, because they got no sense of humor. That's why they dislike it. Now I know depression is a joke, a joke that never gets a laugh. =[ WHYYYY NO ONE LAUGH AT MY JOKES?
I showed my girlfriend my taser. She was stunned.
I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
Person 1: I heard oxygen and magnesium went on a date.
Person 2: OMg!
What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop up an onion.
Three drunk men get in a taxi. The driver knew they were drunk, so he started the car and turned it off. The first man gave him the money. The second man thanked him, but the third man slapped the driver. The driver, surprised that he noticed, asked why, and the third man replied with, "Why did you drive so fast?"
I bought my cousin a trampoline, she started crying. She was in a wheelchair.
I started beating my washing machine because it wasn't working, my wife started crying.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hair.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You just tried number three.
5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.
6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.
7. You skipped number 5.
8. You just checked if there was a number 5.
9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.
I was watching my daughter at a park. She was playing with a few people. Another parent came up to me and said, "Which one is yours?" Just for fun, I said, "I am still choosing." She looked horrified.