why can’t orphans work at S.C Johnson

Cause it’s a family company

If you were a food what would you be?

Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy

Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends

Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside

Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind

To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I’m still here

Who’s the fastest reader

Me cause I’ll be jumping off so many stories

Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind.

I wish my hair was depressed Cause then it would cut itself

people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don’t like going to school

Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey

Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born

Why did the picture go to jail? Cause it was framed!

I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sht was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He BNED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.

Are you depression 'cause you’re always on my mind~

Why are we depressed, is it because that bully in your school, or that you have acne, how about when you listen to you sad song playlist, maybe cause you have no friends, Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake. T^T

I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging

why can’t orphans work at S.C Johnson

Cause it’s a family Company

Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin

Do want to know why they call it an orphanage? Cause they couldn’t call it orphans home

Why don’t mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says “No Trespassing”

Funny thing happened today, my dad came home from work which is weird cause he’s a suicide bomber.

How many kids does it take to change a light bulb well it’s not 53 cause my basements still dark

The teacher asks her class “What is sex?” and Little Jonny stands up and says “sex is the temptation caused by the sensation when a boy sticks his location into a girl’s destination. Did you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?” and the teacher fainted.