Why can't orphans work at S.C Johnson? Cause it's a family company.
If you were a food what would you be?
Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy
Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends
Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside
To the guy asking what joy I find in suicide jokes, the answer is simple. I make suicide jokes to cope with my crippling depression. Must be working, cause I'm still here
I wish my hair was depressed Cause then it would cut itself
What songs do people with no arms listen to?? None cause they can’t press play
"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?" "Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."
I was cooking eggs the other day. It was very EGGxiting, all though, I was EGGxaggerating, but, if you think that wasn’t funny to you, then your hard boiled, that’s all for today YOLKS, so I said before several cats starting fighting, that sh*t was a CATastrophe, these kittens were all like “You’ve gotta be KITTEN me.” Mean while, in the ocean, they just waved, SEA what I did there? You SHORE you didn’t? Oh, alright, that’s okay bud- I guess these ocean puns are too DEEP for you. No? Okay- but, you know why the skeleton was lonely, eh? Oh, cause he had NO BODY. Why didn’t the skeleton ask the girl out? He didn’t have the guts. What did the skeleton do to his gf? He B*NED her. No? Alright. Those didn’t make you laugh? Maybe I should hit your funny bone.
WHY IS THE MOON RED TODAY?The reason why the Moon takes on a reddish color during totality is a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering. It is the same mechanism responsible for causing colorful sunrises and sunsets, and for the sky to look blue.
I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging
Are you suicide? Cause I'm trynna commit to you
Why is the USA bad at Clash Royale? 'Cause they already lost two towers.
Who’s the fastest reader
Me cause I’ll be jumping off so many stories
Are you suicide, cause you're always on my mind
i got kicked out of the hospital cause i told all the Covid-19 patents to stay positive.
people talking me asking whats the worst day in the year for them. Person 1: The first day of school cause i don't like going to school
Person 2: Valentines day cause its to lovey
Me: oh nice mines my birthday cause its when i was born
Why are so many Americans stupid? Cause they shoot the ones that go to school
Are you depression 'cause you're always on my mind~
Q: Why can't science be combined with religion?
A: Cause science creates skyscrapers and planes, while religion combines them
Why is 10 so scared. Cause it was in the middle of 9/11