Washing Machine jokes
What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?
They both like keeping one sock for themselves.
How are laundry and Michael Jackson related?
They both got bleached!
I started beating my washing machine because it wasn't working, my wife started crying.
Why did the clown fall off his bike?
Because the neighbor threw a washing machine at him.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a child?
The washing machine doesn't cry when you put a load in it.
Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.
Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?
Son: Why?
Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, this poem doesn’t make sense, washing machine.
Why did the man with no arms fall off his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him.
I put a Dalmatian in a washing machine and killed him.
What's the toughest stain to wash off a little boy's underpants?
Michael Jackson's lipstick.
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
Why was the washing machine laughing?
It was taking the piss out of the knickers!
My wife Jean is happy, 😊 pretty, 😍 and pregnant,🤰 boy, 👦 am I glad 😊 I bought her 👩 a new whirlpool washer and dryer.
Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95
A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation, the man yelled, "FREE DISHWASHER!"
When the washer started running, why did you join me?
Because I had to catch it.
I would rather do my own laundry, not my uncle's laundry, because I ain't no damn butler like Alfred from Batman. I don't live in no damn Batcave by Gotham tity.
What's a person with Down syndrome's favorite detergent?
Downy.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?
I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.