The 70+ Best Interaction Jokes

I was watching my daughter at a park she was playing with a few people another parent came up to me and said which was is yours, just for fun i said "i am still choosing" she looked horrified

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”

So I was going out the door and I see me dwarf neighbour at the bus stop, I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with fu.. off. So I zip up my backpack and keep going to work

Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you”

Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what”

They said I was depressed, I should make an effort to do what I love. I had to pay a hooker for, twelve hours work. ... I felt nothing, but its was nice, being with someone who felt the same.

A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: do you know how often people die from AIDS?

I said: now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.

Man asking waitress, " Pardon me miss may I ask you about the menu please?" Waitress, "It's none of your business about the men I please!"

A man walks into a pharmacy and buys multiple containers of Tylenol and the clerk asks why he's buying all of these and he replies with "I'm playing 1 pill eat 100."

i was walking today and i saw a emo with a noose looking up at a tree i simply said " hang on there bud!"

Guy starts chatting to pretty woman at a party Seeing that she didn't back off he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. That's a nice name," he said warming up the conversation,

"Who named you, your mother?"

"No, I named myself, she answered.

"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"

"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.

‘BJ Titsngolf’

I met this girl at a bar and started doing her from behind. Everything was great until she turned and said "My turn!".

Ok there has to be SOMEONE on this website right now, whoever that is wanna chat? (im just bored)

Two Italian men get on a bus...

They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.

The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first.

Den I come.

Den two asses come together.

I come once-a-more.

Two asses, they come together again.

I come again and pee twice.

Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.

"In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.

"Who talkin' abouta sexa?

I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

Leave a like if your like sex and porn.and talk to me if any question

I was 11 or 12 at the time.

Guy (passing me): How are you doing? Me, an autist: Pretty bad honestly. Guy (continued walking past me) Me: ...

If you didn’t know, “what’s up” and “how are you doing” are phatic expressions in the United States, meaning that they’re said as greetings even though they literally mean something else.