Trigger

Trigger jokes

Knowledge

    • What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?

    Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. 馃槀

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    • Citizen

    • Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."

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    • Finger

    • When you accidentally wipe a little too hard and your finger goes up your bumhole, triggering flashbacks of when you were 10 and your uncle stayed a few weeks. 馃槀

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    • Gun

    • I don't like the word "gun".

    Whenever I say it, people always get triggered.

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    • Trigger memes

    Burglar

    • A burglar breaks into a weapons engineer's house, hoping to loot the high-tech arsenal. Suddenly, the engineer yells from upstairs, "Hey! Stop right there!"

    The burglar, trying to play tough, screams, "Hands up! I know you've got the goods! Open the armory or I'll shoot!"

    The engineer, trembling, cries, "Okay, okay! Don't shoot! I'll give you everything, even my latest prototype!"

    The burglar, eyes gleaming with greed, demands, "Prove it! Let me see this fancy new gun first!"

    The engineer points to a target range. "It's a plasma blaster," he claims. "Go ahead, give it a shot."

    The burglar aims at the bullseye, pulls the trigger, and鈥擝ANG!鈥攖he gun fires directly into his own chest.

    As the thief collapses, the engineer cackles, "Surprise! It's not plasma; it's my new 'Reverse-Recoil Special,' specifically designed for uninvited guests!"

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    • Shooter

    • What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?

    One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.

    Feminist

    • What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?

    At least one does something when it is triggered.

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    • AK

    • A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.

  • 4

    • State

    • There are three states you don't mess with when trying to take over the United States:

    Alaska because they have three times more guns than people because of the bears.

    Texas because, well, it's Texas. Where else have all of the guns been going?

    Lastly, Florida. Florida is the absolute definition of Trigger Happy Redneck.

    Pledge

    • I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."

    I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"

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    • Shot

    • How do you get 500 drunk TTC people out? "Ah, on fire, a warning shot." "Uhhh sir, it's a M92 mortar." "Ah, just fire the shot!" Please get out before you get triggered from the pool and you have no clothes showing your nono parts. Oh wait, please get out of the pool drunk people. Potato, potatoes, fire ze shot.

    Suicide

    • So, I鈥檓 not sure if it鈥檚 a joke, but I thought it was funny. So imagine you try to die by shooting yourself, but you sneeze and pull the trigger... I don't know about you, but I would鈥檝e been mad. Because wtf, I wasn鈥檛 readyyyy!

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    • Puzzle

    • So I was doing a puzzle, and I was getting triggered with it. My friend said, "It's puzzling why you're so triggered."

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