Trigger jokes
Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."
What's the difference between a feminist and a suicide vest?
At least one does something when it is triggered.
A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.
What takes knowledge to do and also takes knowledge away?
Looking down the barrel and pulling the trigger. 😂
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
When you accidentally wipe a little too hard and your finger goes up your bumhole, triggering flashbacks of when you were 10 and your uncle stayed a few weeks. 😂
I don't like the word "gun".
Whenever I say it, people always get triggered.
I went to the shooting range the other day. After a while, I realized I was the only one there. So, I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene. Man, I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?
You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.
I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."
I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"
What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?
They both erupt when triggered.
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.
(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)
What do a school shooter and a person with gum have in common?
One's the pull it out everyone wants to be their friend.
*trigger alert*
Why did the racist cop shut down the space brothel?
Because there were too many black holes.
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?
The Las Vegas shooting.
What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.
When I aim this trigger, it all goes red.
Do you have a bounty 'cause you got a "M" on your head?
What does a gun and gum have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.