how do you fit 4 gay guys on a stool?
you flip it over.
April Fool's joke: Go to an orphanage and tell them, "Their parents came back."
A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied:
"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"
How do you trick a Catholic priest into using the glory hole at an adult bookstore? Tell him it is a confessional booth.
A Mexican was doing a magic trick. He said, "uno, dos," then disappeared without a trace.
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man that is homophobic into giving him a brojob? the gay man puts mustard on his dick and then puts his dick inside a glory hole
One day the teacher said, "There are 3 birds on a wire, a shooter shoots one. How many are left?" The teacher calls on lil Johnny. "None," the teacher said, "no but try again." Lil Johnny says, "None, because if you shoot one the rest get scared and leave." The teacher said, "Not quite, but I like the way you think."
Lil Johnny then says, "Alright teacher, I have one for you. There are 3 women sitting on a bench, one's sucking it, the other is licking it, and the last one is biting it. Which one is married?" The teacher then says, "The one sucking it, of course!" Lil Johnny then says, "No, the one with the ring, but I like the way you think!"
I was working in an iPhone store in Norwich when a man came! He said, "Give me a hat-trick or I will destroy your store!" I said, "No," and he started to smash phones! I immediately screamed, "Important game!" and he disappeared! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my store! 😡😡
How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree?
You wave at him.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...
no one could tell that it was their blood.
Here’s a trick I learned to do on the calculator
Sally had 69 boobs (69) which was too too too many (69222) so she went to the the doctor on 51st street (6922251) and he said to take a certain pill 8 times a day (6922251 times 8), which left her (flip your calculator over)
Boobless
Yo mama is so ugly, when she went trick or treating on Halloween 2016, the clowns thought she was their supreme leader.
Why can’t you ever trick an aborted baby?
Because it wasn’t born yesterday 🤭
Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate? I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked why was I playing with my food.
There's something on your chin. No, not that one, the third row.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. I told her that, as a punishment, she won't eat butter for 1 month.
Today I saw her killing a cockroach in the kitchen. I told her "nice try".
Last halloween i went dressed as a woman. When i rang the doorbell an elderly woman opened and i made grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands. She immediately called the police and told them excactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First he asked are your parents here and i said nothing. Concerned by my answer he then asked if i was ok so i said nothing. He asked me what my name and i responded, "Hellen Keller.
Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?
Harlem, New York.
