First bite: Oh my God!
Second bite: Oh my, God!
A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."
He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."
He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."
He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
If someone licks your elbow... you wont feel it if you put your ear up to someone's leg you can hear them say "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
What do orgasms and impulses have in common? I don’t care if they have either of them
A guy threatened to touch me yesterday...
My attitude doesn't have to be the only reason I yell and roll my eyes in the back of my head.
Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?
Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.
I showed my girlfriend my taser. She was stunned.
BlessedBrian's face is like a mood ring... it turns blue whenever I'M around.
The teacher made us present a slideshow to introduce ourselves.
Mine is bright and colorful with music. It was so good that a kid started dancing!
roses are red violets are blue when The Oh Hellos saw you they said "Shoo"
I told my fam a joke.
They all looked at me weird and one person even said, "I’m sorry!"
The other day, I stumbled upon a comic strip in the newspaper. As I started reading, I could feel a smile creeping onto my face. The characters were so relatable, their situation so absurd, yet so familiar, it was impossible not to find it amusing.
The punchline was unexpected, yet it made perfect sense within the context of the story. It was that surprise, that sudden twist, that made me burst out laughing. It was as if the comic strip had set up a joke and I had walked right into it, completely unsuspecting. The laughter bubbled up from within me, a spontaneous reaction to the unexpected humor.
In that moment, I realized the power of humor. It's not just about making people laugh. It's about bringing joy, about making people see the world from a different perspective, even if just for a moment. And that's why I found that comic strip so funny. It wasn't just a joke, it was a moment of joy, a moment of surprise, a moment of seeing the world in a different light.
I have a joke about chemistry, but I don't think it will get a reaction.
