Reaction jokes
Heh.
Q: What do pedophiles use for allergic reactions?
A: An Epstein pen.
Conservatives when they hear about “liberal arts:” 👊😡
Liberals when they find out about forest conservation: 😩👐
Progressives when they see a reaction video: 🤬
Reactionaries when a Progressive ad comes on (Flo is annoying): 😱
Anticoms realizing they are a part of a “community:” *seizure*
Anticaps when they have to Capitalize Their Words: 😤
Anti-monarchists when they pass a Burger King: 🫨
Antisocs when they are told to “socialize:” 🫠
Corporatists when they see a corpse: 🤤
Antifash when they spot a fashion show: 🤮
Classical liberals when the TV shows Family Feud: 😑🔫
Extremists when they are told to shoot “dead center” (they have bad aim): 😠🖕
First bite: Oh my God!
Second bite: Oh my, God!
A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."
He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."
He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."
He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
If someone licks your elbow, you won't feel it.
If you put your ear up to someone's leg, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
A guy threatened to touch me yesterday...
My attitude doesn't have to be the only reason I yell and roll my eyes in the back of my head.
Do you think when the Secret Service heard the gunshot they were like, "Donald Duck"?
Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.
What’s 9 inches long and makes my girlfriend scream?
One inch and put it in her. Her miscarriage.
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
A piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh, Bunsen, my flame," the sodium swooned. "I melt whenever I see you!"
The Bunsen burner replied, "Calm down. It's just a phase you're going through."
I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.
I showed my girlfriend my taser. She was stunned.
BlessedBrian's face is like a mood ring... it turns blue whenever I'M around.
The teacher made us present a slideshow to introduce ourselves.
Mine is bright and colorful with music. It was so good that a kid started dancing!