I'm surprised BLESSEDBRIAN can fit through the door, considering how INFLATED his ego is.
SLADE is proof that mental aging can go in REVERSE.
What do you call a depressed a cappella group?
Self-Harmony.
How do you make the grass cut itself?
Make it depressed.
The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”
No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”
Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.
“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”
My boss told me I have a preoccupation with vengeance... We'll see about that!
The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.
"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.
"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"
He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"
"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
Imagine there's a funny joke here... imagined it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you're schizophrenic.
What sits on the seabed and has anxiety? A nervous wreck.
Did you hear about the woman who couldn't stop collecting magazines? She had issues.
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
A different version of you exists in the minds of everyone that knows you.
What's the natural cure to an old man's inability to forgive people?
Alzheimer's.
