A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
Psychology Jokes
Yo mama is so ugly, when she got raped, the rapist was the one getting PTSD!
Why did the rapper go to therapy?
To work on his FLOW ISSUES.
Q: Why aren't emo jokes funny?
A: They always seem to cut a little too close.
I'm surprised BLESSEDBRIAN can fit through the door, considering how INFLATED his ego is.
SLADE is proof that mental aging can go in REVERSE.
What's the difference between a bird and an emo?
Birds fly.
What do you call a depressed a cappella group?
Self-Harmony.
How do you get a retard out of a tree?
Wave at them.
How do you make the grass cut itself?
Make it depressed.
The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”
No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”
Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.
“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”
My boss told me I have a preoccupation with vengeance... We'll see about that!
The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.
"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.
"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.
"What do you call a person who is afraid of Santa Claus?"
"Claustrophobic!"
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
Are you angry?
Go bully an orphan!
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"
He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"
"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
