Psychology jokes
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I didn't even care.
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope.
Why do orphans want to be criminals? Because they want to feel what it’s like to be wanted.
Why did the old man win in a fight? Because he was stressed.
Serial killers be like: "Blood is red, veins are blue, next one is YOU."
Why did the lil kid cut himself?
Answer: Because he was emo, HAHHHAHAHAHAAHHA!
How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.
1 minute silence for those who still think thoughts can't kill you.
I went to a depressed person and said, "Do you wanna hang with me?"
Why are orphans very abusive to their kids?
Because they never had loving parents of their own.
What do you say to a depressed special kid?
“Why so down?”
I know you came here to feel good about yourself...
What happened when the depressed person waved at a tree?
It left him hanging.
Me: Hey, how are you?
Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3
Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?
Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.
Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!
Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)
Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!
Me: Ok, and their names?
Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!
Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)
Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.
Me: Ok, see you soon! :3
Me now hates my life. :)
I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.
Bully 1 to Bully 2: You're ugly.
Bully 2: Look in a mirror.
Bully 1: Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.
Me: Mom, we made a cake.
Bully: Guess what?
Me: What?
Bully: Nobody cares!
Me: Yeah, nobody cares about you!
My grief counselor died the other day.
He was so good at his job, I don't even care.
When you think you're depressed, but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self-loathing, but then you realize that it, in itself, might actually be a symptom of depression.
Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!
A leaf and an emo fall from a tree. Which hits the ground first?
The leaf. The rope stopped the emo.