Santa Claus jokes
if an emo doesn't get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?
They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.
Q: Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
A: He only comes once a year.
What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.
Russian Santa Claus- You better watch out, You better not cry, cause if you do I will stab your fucking eye, Russian Santa Claus does not fuck around. He's making a list, He's checking it twice... You better leave out some Vodka with ice!
It's that time is year again!
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!
Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they're the ones who made the toys.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
What did Santa Claus bring Michael Jackson for Christmas? His elves! 😂😂😂
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"
What do you call a winter time contact?
A Santa Claus.
Why can't orphans celebrate Christmas?
Father Christmas left them.
I like Christmas.
It’s the holiday where an old man breaks into people’s homes so he can give them toys! :) yaaaaay 😁
There's a white guy, black guy, and Santa Claus. They get a hotel room.
White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off your weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Santa Claus goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." Santa Claus looks at the ghost and says "I'm the ghost of Christmas past, you touch my dick I'll kick your ass!"
You know the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"? Apparently, Santa's the mailman.
How many wives does Santa have?
Ho Ho Ho!
To start, I'm a big fella in size.
I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.
Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like?
A: “Wrap” music.