Santa Claus Jokes

if an emo doesn't get better by Christmas Santas reindeer won't be the only thing jumping off roofs this year

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

They both leave the little kids' room with empty sacks.

Q:Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?

A:He only comes once a year.

Russian Santa Claus- You better watch out, You better not cry, cause if you do I will stab your fucking eye, Russian Santa Claus does not fuck around. He's making a list, He's checking it twice... You better leave out some Vodka with ice!

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common? They both let little kids sit on their lap.

Why does Santa have three gardens?

So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!

What is Santa Claus and Bill Cosby having in common? They both come while you’re asleep

What nationality is Santa Claus? - North Polish.

Your mama so ugly, when Santa Claus came to her house and saw her, he said, "HO HO HOLY SHIT THAT'S ONE UGLY BITCH!"

What did Santa Claus brought Michael Jackson for Christmas ? His elf’s 😂😂😂

why cant orphans celebrate christmas - father christmas left them

How many wives does Santa have? Hoe Hoe Hoe

Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like? A: “Wrap” music

To start im a big fella in size.

I saw a skinny guy act like Santa so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off" I said. He said "then you try it". He gave me the Santa suit and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.

JoE mAmA sO FaT ThaT whEn sANtA cAmE tO OuR HoUsE hE sAiD " hO hO hOLy sHiT, sHe dAmN ThiCK - - " .v.

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus, "Please send me a sibling" Santa Claus wrote him back and said "okay, send me your mother"

What does Santa Claus in Bill Cosby have in common? They both come while you’re asleep

When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple kool-aid.

A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears. Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have ***, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”