Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
If you were a food, what would you be?
Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."
Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."
Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."
They say people are 75% water.
But I'm 100% useless.
It's ironic that the more other people love you, the more you hate yourself.
Yes, I'm CUTE.
C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty.
You know, people always say your life is worth it, but with me, it's worth-it-less.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb up to the top of your ego and jump to your IQ.
I love Brussel sprouts more than I love myself.
If I wanted to kill myself, I would just climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ.
How do bitches talk about body positivity when they have no body to even be positive about
I would roast you, but your mirror does every time you look into it.
Why are we depressed, is it because that bully in your school, or that you have acne, how about when you listen to you sad song playlist, maybe cause you have no friends, Or is it the fact your anime girlfriend is fake. T^T
I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.
Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.
What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid.
The bible says to love your neighbors as you love yourself.
So I treat everyone like garbage.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, There’s always someone, Who’s better than you.
bully: your life's a joke. me: my life's not a joke, jokes have meaning.
I once told Siri, "Hey Siri, why am I still single?" She opened the front camera.
I’ve always been a bit insecure about having thicker thighs.
Now I realize it allows me to fit more scars!
Sometimes I feel ugly , then I think of my sister and get over it.
