Psychology

Psychology Jokes

Abuse

Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.

I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.

Road

Why did the suicidal person cross the road? He was waiting for a car.

Son

"Others, Morris, Sal, Sal, Rasuba Marid, Things!"

My son is broken: "I think at home!"

Happiness!

Background

"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."

Woman

Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.

Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.

Mental Illness

My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.

He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"

Hitler

Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?

A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.

Spectrum

If someone has a hyperfixation with drawing and playing, does that mean they are on the "artism" spectrum?

Orgasm

What do orgasms and impulses have in common?

I don’t care if they have either of them.

Depression

Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.

Sex

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

Booty

What do you call a booty that’s always negative?

A pessimist-cheek.

Booty

Why did the booty break up with the fart?

It was just too much GASLIGHTING.

Tree

How do you lift a depressed person up?

No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.