"Others, Morris, Sal, Sal, Rasuba Marid, Things!"
My son is broken: "I think at home!"
Happiness!
"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."
Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.
He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
Q: Why did Hitler shoot himself?
A: Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.
If someone has a hyperfixation with drawing and playing, does that mean they are on the "artism" spectrum?
What is a pedophile's favorite age range?
9-11.
What do orgasms and impulses have in common?
I don’t care if they have either of them.
Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
What do you call a booty that’s always negative?
A pessimist-cheek.
Why did the booty break up with the fart?
It was just too much GASLIGHTING.
How do you lift a depressed person up?
No need, they'll find a way to get on the tree somehow.
Why did the booty go to therapy?
It had some DEEP-SEATED issues.
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
Yo mama is so ugly, when she got raped, the rapist was the one getting PTSD!
Why did the rapper go to therapy?
To work on his FLOW ISSUES.
I'm surprised BLESSEDBRIAN can fit through the door, considering how INFLATED his ego is.
