Tell a woman she’s beautiful a hundred times, and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she’s fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life.
My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.
He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it."
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
Q. Why did Hitler shoot himself? A. Because his mother taught him to take out the trash.
What is a pedophiles favourite age range? 9 11
Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.
What do you call a booty that’s always negative?
A pessimist-cheek.
Why did the booty go to therapy?
It had some DEEP-SEATED issues.
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
Yo mama is so ugly, when she got raped, the rapist was the one getting PTSD!
Why did the rapper go to therapy?
To work on his FLOW ISSUES.
What do you call a depressed a cappella group?
Self-Harmony.
How do you make the grass cut itself?
Make it depressed.
The 6th-grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”
No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”
Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.
“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”
The depressed kid walked into the counselor's office.
"I'm feeling like killing myself," he said.
"Oh no! Don't worry, sweetie, just hang in there!," the counselor responded.
What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What is the real reason why men jack off? They just enjoy killing kids.
I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
Why did the Emo Chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a car.
Imagine there's a funny joke here... imagined it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you're schizophrenic.
